https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-X6SS1fq2t4
Project Cassiopeia #868. Mediumistic Séance with the Spirit of Fyodor Dostoevsky. Contactee Irina Podzorova at Bryusov Hall
DeepSeek - Here are all versions of the retelling, translated into English:
1. Detailed Retelling
This is a detailed retelling of a text that presents itself as a transcript of a mediumistic séance where, according to the participants, the spirit of Fyodor Dostoevsky answers questions from the host and the audience.
Main Concept
The spirit of writer Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky contacts the séance participants through medium Irina Podzorova. He talks about his current "life" in the spiritual world, analyzes his past incarnation, and answers questions about his biography, work, views, and personal life.
Key Themes and Answers from "Dostoevsky's Spirit"
1. Current State in the Spiritual World:
He is on the "23rd spiritual level," with the status of an "angel-archat."
He is a patron and guardian of the egregore (a collective energetic structure) of writers within the egregore of art.
He collaborates with the spirits of other writers: Anton Chekhov, Leo Tolstoy, Shakespeare. Alexander Pushkin is currently incarnated on Earth and is therefore less active.
He incarnated into Dostoevsky's body from the 20th spiritual level.
2. Spiritual Tasks of the Incarnation as Dostoevsky:
The main task was not literary creation, but developing diligence, patience, humility, and the experience of overcoming difficulties within himself.
Literature was an instrument for developing these qualities and for "healing human souls" through words.
Financial difficulties and poverty were also part of the plan to cultivate humility and prevent him from falling into pride due to wealth.
3. Biographical Clarifications and Explanations:
Father: Described as initially kind, devout, and a selfless doctor. His strictness and temper manifested later due to stress, failures with his estate, debts, and his wife's death. The spirit holds no grudge against him.
Illnesses (epilepsy, tuberculosis): Explained by family karma. He consciously chose a body damaged by tuberculosis infection from his mother to develop patience through suffering. Brain damage from the bacteria led to an epileptic focus, activated by stress (the deaths of his mother, Pushkin, and his father).
Death Sentence and Hard Labor: Described as a turning point, granted "from above." The awareness of imminent death and the subsequent reading of the Gospel in prison completely changed his worldview, leading him to reject socialist utopias.
Gambling Addiction (Ludomania): Arose from a desire to get rich quickly to help numerous petitioners. After the first win, greed and selfishness developed. He freed himself thanks to realizing its sinfulness, a mental "admonition" from God, and the support of his second wife, Anna.
Relationships with Women:
Visiting brothels in his youth is explained by a strong temperament and the absence of a lawful wife.
First Wife (Maria Isaeva): A union based on spiritual closeness, but with domestic complexities. The affair with Apollinaria Suslova occurred against the backdrop of a quarrel with his wife, who refused marital intimacy. The spirit admits his guilt, selfishness, and misunderstanding of marital intimacy during that period.
Second Wife (Anna Snitkina): The meeting was "planned" in the spiritual world. Anna is described as organized, soft, "gracious" (the meaning of her name), becoming his guardian angel in earthly life. After death, they reunited in the spiritual world (she is on the 18th level).
Death of Son Alyosha and Meeting with Elder Ambrose: The tragedy forced him to completely trust in God. Elder Ambrose comforted him, saying the child, having died young, became an angel, and this trial was given to the parents to strengthen their faith.
4. Creativity and Worldview:
Purpose of Creativity: Healing human souls through words, showing paths out of spiritual crisis.
Theme of Suicide: Studied to show that characters always had an unused chance, and to warn readers.
"God-bearing People": Still believes in the special mission of the Russian people—to be a stronghold of peace and love. Acknowledges that current historical circumstances (war) are a difficult test but calls on Russia to remain an example.
Chapter on Stavrogin's Confession ("Demons"): Considered it important for revealing the character. Did not reinstate it into the main text due to publishers' fears and censorship. Denies the story was his personal confession, asserting it was a creative method of "getting into character."
Coincidence of a Murder in Moscow with the Plot of "Crime and Punishment": Explains it by the idea of murdering a pawnbroker being "in the air," and the coincidence of details being rare but not mystical.
Meeting with Tolstoy That Never Happened: Confirms there was an agreement in the spiritual world for friendship and mentorship. The meeting in life did not happen due to the bustle and because their "incarnated parts" (souls in bodies) showed no interest in each other at that moment.
5. Answers to Tough Questions:
Nikolai Strakhov's Accusations of Pedophilia: Categorically denies them. Believes Strakhov may have attributed his own hidden tendencies to him. Confirms that the episode with Stavrogin's confession is a literary fiction.
Relationship with the Church: Respected the church, loved services, bells, visited monasteries (including Optina Pustyn), but was not a disciplined parishioner due to busyness and illness. Dismisses scolding his wife for going to church as irritation after seizures.
6. Death and Transition:
Describes the moment of death as a gradual loss of senses, without fear, with a feeling of love for his family and trust in God.
After separating from the body, he met luminous entities (angels) and passed through the "gates" into the Kingdom of Heaven, where he reunited with his Higher Self (Spirit).
Emphasizes that his spiritual level fluctuated throughout his earthly life (there were periods of despondency at the 5th level), and he only reached the 23rd level in the last year and a half of his life.
Conclusion
The spirit thanks them for the invitation, and the host thanks him and medium Irina Podzorova. The séance concludes with applause.
2. Spiritual Facts Only (List)
Here is a list consisting solely of "spiritual facts" from the text, excluding known biographical data:
Current State and Tasks:
The spirit is on the 23rd spiritual level with the status of an angel-archat.
The main task of incarnating as Dostoevsky was developing patience, humility, and diligence. Literature was merely a tool for this purpose.
Financial difficulties were part of the plan to cultivate humility.
His spiritual level fluctuated throughout his life (there were periods as low as the 5th level), and he only reached the 23rd level about a year and a half before his death.
Spiritual Explanations for Life Events:
Illnesses (epilepsy, tuberculosis): Caused by family karma and a conscious choice of a damaged body to develop patience through suffering.
Death Sentence: Was a turning point granted from above to change his path.
Gambling Addiction: Overcome after a mental "admonition" from God about the sinfulness of that path.
Union with Anna Snitkina: Was predestined in the spiritual world. After death, her spirit resides on the 18th level.
Death of Son Alyosha: A tragedy sent to achieve complete trust in God, according to Elder Ambrose.
Structure of the Spiritual World:
He is a patron of the egregore of writers (part of the egregore of art).
Spirits (like Chekhov, Tolstoy, Shakespeare) send their phantoms to the Earth's astral world to influence creativity.
The meeting with Tolstoy did not happen because their incarnated souls (in bodies) at that moment, preoccupied with worldly bustle, did not respond to the "agreement" made in the spiritual world before incarnation.
Spiritual Practices and Contacts:
Even during his lifetime, he mentally "immersed" himself in characters, which was a kind of astral travel.
His creativity was influenced by hints from the spiritual world from Archangel Michael, Jesus Christ, and his guardian angel.
His mentors were first Archangel Michael, and later Jesus Christ.
The moment of death is described as a transition: meeting angels, passing through "gates," and reuniting with the Higher Self (Spirit) in a state of light and timelessness.
3. Ten Rules of Life from Dostoevsky's Spirit
Here are ten rules of life derived from the answers of "Dostoevsky's spirit" during the mediumistic séance:
1. View Difficulties as Spiritual Training
The purpose of many trials is to develop patience, humility, and the ability to overcome. Even the most difficult circumstances are given for a reason and lead to growth.
2. Do Not Chase Wealth as a Goal
Material difficulties can be part of the plan to protect you from pride. Humility and clarity of spirit are often more important than financial well-being.
3. Heal with Words
If you are a writer, artist, or simply communicate with people—use words not for condemnation, but for healing the soul. Show ways out of darkness, don't plunge deeper into it.
4. Overcome Addiction by Realizing Its Destructiveness
Any passion (gambling, alcohol, other addictions) pulls you away from your true purpose. Realize that it is an illusion and a path to downfall, and turn to higher powers for help.
5. Accept Your Body and Its Weaknesses
Illnesses and limitations can be part of your karmic path. Do not complain, but use them to cultivate your spirit—even a weak body can become an instrument for a strong soul.
6. Trust a Higher Will When Life Hangs by a Thread
In the most terrible moments (loss of loved ones, mortal danger), remember: life is in God's hands. Even if everything seems meaningless—a higher will may be leading you to salvation and rebirth.
7. Treat Family and Your Partner as a Spiritual Union
Love is not just passion, but responsibility, care, and spiritual closeness. Infidelity, selfishness, and resentment destroy not only relationships but also your spiritual level.
8. Do Not Confuse the Author with Their Characters
If you are a creator, remember: you can deeply delve into the dark sides of characters, but this is research, not your confession. Do not allow others to judge your soul by your own works.
9. Read Not Only for Pleasure but to Shape Your Soul
Read diverse literature, compare, analyze. Literary taste and spiritual perspective are formed through diversity and reflection.
10. Remember Your Mission but Do Not Be Proud of It
Even if you feel a calling (to help, create, lead) — remain humble. Fame, recognition, and success are merely temporary phenomena that can lead you away from your true goal.
Key principle unifying all rules:
Life is a school for the spirit. Every event, joy or suffering, is a lesson. The main task is not to achieve external heights but to raise your inner level, to ultimately attain light and unite with the Higher.
4. Ten Rules of Life and Business from Dostoevsky's Spirit
Here are ten rules of life and business, compiled based on the answers of "Dostoevsky's spirit" from the séance. They combine a spiritual perspective with a practical approach.
1. Choose a Mission Above Profit
Your activity should heal, help, make the world better—not just generate income. Money is a tool, not a goal. Business devoid of a spiritual purpose leads to emptiness.
2. Difficulties Are Your Main Teachers
Failures, crises, financial losses are given to develop patience and humility. Instead of complaining, ask: "What is this teaching me? How is this strengthening my spirit and my work?"
3. Money Comes When You Don't Make It Your Main Fetish
According to the séance, Dostoevsky's poverty was part of the plan to cultivate humility.
In business: If you are obsessed with profit, you lose connection with clients, quality, and meaning. Focus on value—money will come as a consequence.
4. Words Are Power. Use Them for Creation, Not Destruction
In correspondence, advertising, negotiations, public speeches, your words can heal or wound. Be honest, clear, and humane. Lies and manipulations will return as a karmic blow.
5. Avoid "Gambling" Addictions in Business
Reckless risks, thirst for quick profit, trading without a strategy—these are spiritual traps. They develop greed and cloud judgment. Trust in systematic work, not luck.
6. Build Relationships as a Spiritual Union
With partners, employees, clients, be honest and responsible. Betrayal, deception, and treachery in business lower not only your reputation but also your spiritual level.
7. Accept Your Limitations and Turn Them into Strength
Dostoevsky accepted his illness as part of his path.
In business: Acknowledge weaknesses (yours or the company's) and use them to create a unique approach. Vulnerability can become the foundation for sincerity and trust.
8. In Moments of Collapse—Trust the Higher Plan
When everything is crumbling (bankruptcy, project failure), remember: this could be a turn towards something greater. Do not despair. Sometimes the collapse of the old is the only path to a new, more meaningful stage.
9. Do Not Identify Yourself with Your "Mask" of Success
Even if you become famous, wealthy, influential—remain humble. Pride from success is more destructive than bitterness from failure. You are not your brand; you are your soul.
10. Create Not Just a Product, But a Legacy
Think about how your work will affect people's souls years from now. Business as creativity: what will you leave behind—only ledgers, or ideas that will heal and inspire?
Philosophical Summary for an Entrepreneur from "Dostoevsky's Spirit":
Business is part of your spiritual path. Every deal, every project, every profit or loss is a lesson for the soul. Build your enterprise so that it strengthens not only capital but also the light within you and others. And remember: the main contract you sign is not with investors, but with your conscience.
DeepSeek - Literal Translation into English:
I am pleased to welcome you to "Plus Hall" for another spiritualist séance, which we conduct from time to time together with the community "Cassiopeia" and its leader, the unique medium, contactee with other worlds, Irina Podzorova. Today we can note this fact with additional applause before we proceed to the main part of our program. We always prepare a small informational, so to speak biographical film about our hero, to remind us of the main biographical facts, so that it will be easier for us to navigate the questions and answers that will follow. And now, attention to the screen. Fyodor Dostoevsky was born on November 11, 1821, in Moscow, at the Mariinsky Hospital for the Poor, where his father worked as a physician. Fyodor became the second child in the family. Later, five more were born. The mother dies of consumption when Dostoevsky was 15. Despite the son's interest in artistic creation, the father sends him, together with his older brother Mikhail, to study at the Main Engineering School in St. Petersburg. The father himself leaves his service at the hospital and moves to an estate, where two years later he dies under unclear circumstances. During his studies, Fyodor suffers from the military atmosphere, from disciplines alien to his interests. In 1843, he graduates from the school and begins service in the engineering corps. Already a year later, he resigns from service and completely devotes himself to literary creation. Starting with translations, Dostoevsky soon writes his first novel "Poor People," which, even in manuscript, receives enthusiastic reviews from the poet and publisher Nikolai Nekrasov, and later from the influential critic Vissarion Belinsky. Eminent colleagues call the young writer the "New Gogol." The publication of the novel at the very beginning of 1846 instantly brings 24-year-old Dostoevsky to the forefront of Russian writers. However, his subsequent works "The Double," "The Landlady," "A Weak Heart" do not evoke the same enthusiasm from readers, and criticism expresses conflicting opinions. Around the same time, Dostoevsky participates in meetings of the circle of the young official of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, translator Mikhail Petrashevsky, where issues of reforms and censorship are discussed. In April 1849, 27-year-old Dostoevsky is arrested for participating in this circle and, together with 14 other members of the organization, is sentenced to death. However, instead of execution, the authorities stage a mock execution, and Emperor Nicholas I replaces the death penalty with hard labor. Dostoevsky spends four years at hard labor in Omsk and then serves another five years as a private soldier in Semipalatinsk, where he meets the married couple, the Isaevs. He falls in love with Maria Isaeva and, some time after her husband's death, proposes marriage. The subsequent years of married life turn out to be unhappy. The wife suffers from consumption, Dostoevsky starts an affair on the side. In 1859, having received permission to return to the central provinces, Dostoevsky moves his family first to Tver, then to Petersburg, where in 1861, together with his brother Mikhail, he founds the journal "Time," publishes his memoirs of hard labor, "Notes from the House of the Dead," the novel "The Insulted and Injured." Three years after moving to the capital, Dostoevsky's wife and brother die. The journal faces bankruptcy. The Dostoevskys take on his brother's debts, the expenses of supporting numerous relatives, and find themselves in a catastrophic financial situation. He loses his last money in the gambling houses of German Wiesbaden, where he falls into even greater debt. He signs an onerous contract with the publisher Fyodor Stellovsky. According to the terms of the deal, Dostoevsky must deliver a new novel within an extremely tight deadline, otherwise the copyright to all his works, including those not yet written, will pass to the publisher for 9 years. Friends advise him to use the services of a stenographer to speed up the work. Dostoevsky meets Anna Snitkina, to whom he dictates the text of the novel "The Gambler" about a young man obsessed with roulette in 26 days and fulfills the contract terms. In 1867, Dostoevsky marries Anna Snitkina. She helps the writer finish the novel "Crime and Punishment." She takes control of his financial affairs, shields him from endless petitioners, creates conditions for fruitful work. Over the next decade, Dostoevsky creates the main works of his life. "The Idiot," "Demons," "The Adolescent," "The Brothers Karamazov," Dostoevsky's famous five great novels. Recognition of the writer in the broadest strata of Russian society becomes universal. Death overtakes Dostoevsky on January 28, 1881, as a result of a pulmonary hemorrhage against the background of consumption. He is buried at the Tikhvin Cemetery of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. Dear friends, I invite onto the stage the universal contactee, leader of the Cassiopeia community, Irina Podzorova! Good evening, hello, dear friends! I welcome everyone, my name is Irina Podzorova, I am a contactee with extraterrestrial civilizations, with subtle-material civilizations and with the spiritual world. This is not our first, but another séance here. We continue the cycle of communication with the spirits of famous people, in particular, writers today. We have invited, I have invited through my curators, the spirit, who in his last incarnation was known as Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, known to many, his works are included in the school curriculum, and I, including me, read and studied them, and of course, I think, many of you have. Today he is already present here. and greets everyone, thanks for the invitation and is ready to answer your questions. Hello, dear Fyodor Mikhailovich, thank you very much for agreeing to meet with us and coming to talk. He nods his head and says "thank you." If you allow, we will immediately get down to business, start asking questions. Yes, of course. Our first block is traditional, such... karmic. We are, of course, very interested in what spiritual level you are currently at. At the moment, I am at the 23rd spiritual level. An angel too! Let's applaud, what a successful life Fyodor Mikhailovich had, if he ended up at the angelic level. Can you tell us a little more about what you do at this level? Currently I am not incarnated, but although I am already preparing for my next incarnation, and at this moment I am answering. On Earth, I am an angel-archon. And not what I answer, I am one of the patrons and guardians of the Egregore, so to speak, of writers. That is, one of the departments of the art egregore. In a general global scale. Yes. And who among your colleagues is there from those known to us in this egregore? Anton Chekhov. Well, Lev Tolstoy. Yes, they are showing Lev Tolstoy now. And... So, who is this? Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Yes. And Pushkin? Since he is currently incarnated, his attention is directed more towards his incarnation. He also helps to transmit information. and so to speak, give inspiration. to poets, but does it quite rarely, as he is occupied with his incarnation. Tell me, please, you listed some spirits known to us from their earthly life. As I understand, they all occupy different levels in the spiritual world. How do you meet there for meetings, and does someone descend to someone, or does the angelic level not have such strict, rigid separation? We send our phantoms to the egregore, that is, from the world of non-incarnated spirits we send our phantoms to the egregore, to one of the egregores of the Earth's noosphere. It is located in the astral world. The astral world is a borderland between the world of non-incarnated spirits, where we are, and the material world. And therefore we send our phantoms from any level. How do you assess the state of literature now on Earth? There are many new works, many new genres, very interesting ones. And now there is a rapid flourishing of literature not only in paper embodiment, that is, in books, but also electronic. There are many new authors, and such as "Flourishing" shows that very many are writing now. Of course, genres have appeared that were unknown when I was incarnated. For example, flourishing, like now. Yes, now, for example, detective stories or science fiction have reached great flourishing. At the time when I was incarnated, this was very rare. it was only just beginning to develop. We had more like, novels about life. Well, there were mystical novels, but they were not science fiction or detective, or what is also called... drama, there are like romance novels in the modern sense of these words. Now the egregore of literature, I will call it that, that is, this is under the art egregore. receives, has rapid development. Can you recommend to us some modern authors whom you recommend we read? I recommend reading a lot of diverse literature to everyone, because literary taste is formed not from reading certain authors, but from reading diverse literature and comparing it among themselves. Do you have contactees among writers? Yes. And how do you interact with them? Mentally. I send them ideas. Ideas? Well, like thought forms. I understand. Tell me, from what level did you incarnate as Fyodor Mikhailovich? From the 20th. So it turns out you were an angel even before that, Fyodor Mikhailovich? Yes. Only I want to clarify. I was born not in November, but in October, at the end of October. We had that change by how much... Well, he says, now I'll explain, he says according to the old style. According to... I was surprised that it said he was born in November. You see, for us it changed a little after the revolution, but that was after your discarnation. Well, he knows it changed, just it was said that he was born on a certain date, and he was born on a different day. That's why he said that. Fyodor Nikolaevich, I beg your pardon, we will correct it and write. Well, yes, he was born, they are showing you now, on October 30. This is important because some people might want to look at my numerological characteristics. That is, those which... Yes, those which depend on the numbers of the birth date. And did you learn about the importance of numerological characteristics in the spiritual world or during your life? And what can be the importance of these characteristics? By them one can recognize the characteristics of karmic tasks. characteristics and abilities of the spirit and its tasks. Since we did not prepare, we do not have a numerological calculation, but we have the fortunate opportunity to ask you directly. What were your spiritual tasks for the incarnation? My main spiritual task for this incarnation, by the way, was to develop in myself diligence, patience and humility, and the experience of overcoming various difficulties. This, for me, was even not art as the first task, but precisely the development in myself of such qualities. Human, not related to literary activity. Human. But literary activity was also part of the mandatory set of life goals and tasks? An instrument for developing my patience, humility and overcoming difficulties, because there were many difficulties on the path of creating literary works, their publication and the criticism I encountered. And therefore I developed in myself patience, the ability to endure difficulties and not turn away from the path in the face of obstacles of fate. Well, and one must assume you succeeded in this? Yes, I fulfilled my purpose and raised my spiritual level. It's so pleasant to hear that. which we wish for all present. Fyodor Mikhailovich, tell me, can you tell us about your most significant incarnations in the past? In total, in this Manvantara, that is, in the epoch of the existence of the material universe, I had 3,306 incarnations. It seems to me that this is above average. Well, yes, for example, I have fewer. You really love adventures, love to incarnate and experiment. That is, he has many incarnations, He says that there are spirits with a greater number, actually. Well, yes, if we look at Earth, then those who incarnate on Earth have somewhere from 200 to 1000 incarnations. on average, again, yes, we have a different spread. And I have 3,306 incarnations. And, well, including, in fact, the last one. Of these, I was incarnated on Earth 102 times. But on Earth in a dense body I was incarnated 36 times. 36 times you were a human on Earth? Can you name some? I will name those which you can recognize, as for me, for example, there was an important incarnation, which is unlikely known to you. It was one of a Catholic monk. who was still at the very beginning, like the 15th century. He is unknown to you. In which country? In Italy. In Italy. Yes. he is unknown to you. That is, his name is not preserved in the annals. At least you won't find him. For me it was a very significant incarnation. There I... for a very long time cleansed my spiritual heart. Well, okay, I will name known incarnations in the sense of why known, well, which you can find. For example, I was incarnated... Dad, Petak, who is this? In Anti, and such a figure as Pontius Pilate. Ooh. No, I was not incarnated as him. Okay, good. The figure Pontius Pilate we know. He had a daughter. I was incarnated, yes, by the name... I hear like Peppi. Peppi. How, yes, here. Well, I through my perception, because he, says, the contactee does not speak the language of that time, hears it as in Russian, in the Russian language. And I was incarnated as her. Further I was incarnated. Before that I was incarnated on the territory of G. as 10 gradia. 10 gradia. 10 gradia – that's where the island of Rhodes is now, there was the capital, this was the fifth century before the birth of Christ. There I was incarnated as a philosopher and astronomer, who was called Efdox. and in DOX. This was a whole philosophical and astronomical school. This was the fifth century before the birth of Christ. Yes, good. Further I was incarnated... already as I said the daughter of Antipilate and further I was incarnated as one of the emperors of Japan in the 13th century. Yes, but that was a short incarnation for me, shows, as if died in some skirmish. And then I went back a little, again along the timeline. and incarnated in the 10th century. after the birth of Christ on the territory. of Rus. on the territory of the Russian principality, Kievan Rus, more precisely, as one of the sons of Vladimir Svyatoslavich, known to you as Vladimir the Red Sun. I was his third son named Yaroslav. And who was your mother in that incarnation? In which? That son of Vladimir. Some Rogneda. I know who Rogneda is. And further... Well, that was not my previous incarnation. I understand. And further, already after Yaroslav, I lowered my spiritual level, as there was a struggle among the brothers there. I will just now focus more on the memory of my past life incarnation. To tell details about that, I need to allocate a phantom with a different, with a different memory, like a different personality. Further I incarnated, as I already said, as that monk. His name was like... Well, I hear like Hippolytus. Like the name Hippolytus. And there I, as it were, cleansed my karma, prayers, repentance, fasting, well, as asceticism. There I raised my level to... 18th and further I incarnated on the planet Esler that was my previous incarnation before incarnating as Fyodor I incarnated on the planet Esler in a female body and there I held the position when I incarnated, grew up This woman they show me on the planet. Eslera, she there held the position of school director, who developed a curriculum for teaching children. And already in that incarnation I reached, as a spirit, reached the 20th level and incarnated further into the body of Fyodor. Yes, thank you very much. Now allow me a few questions related to your childhood, your parents. Okay. You yourself called your childhood happy and carefree. But upon closer examination of the memories of your family members, the impression is created that your father was... a man of a despotic disposition, quick-tempered, intolerant. Not to mention the fact that it was the father who tried to push you off the destined path and sent you to the engineering corps instead of supporting your literary interests. In short, the question. Well, when you incarnated, you, obviously, among other things, understood what qualities and properties your parents would have. Why did you agree to such a father? Well, what qualities were you supposed to develop in yourself with the help of such a parent figure? Yes, indeed, I chose, like all spirits, dad and mom, and in general the whole family, the ancestral egregore. I chose it, by the way, I took upon myself some ancestral karma there, again related to my task, personal task. to develop, cultivate in myself patience, humility, overcoming difficulties, concerning my dad. Actually, inside in his heart he was a very kind person. Initially, when I was little, he spent a lot of time with me and the other children. He loved my mother very much. He was a doctor, he also graduated from, Well, yes, practically also completed training as a priest, since he himself was the son of a priest. And he was a very religious person. He believed in Jesus Christ, and he instilled faith in me. Well, together with mom. But most of all he instilled faith in me, he... taught me to pray, he taught me to thank God, he taught me to trust Him and was an example of male fortitude, endurance, self-confidence, because and such as selflessness, because he worked as a doctor in a hospital and often treated patients from very poor classes, who had nothing to pay for their treatment, and he, despite this, one could say, spent days and nights at work. Rarely slept, ate haphazardly, whatever came along, to see as many people as possible. Even sacrificed his days off, communication with his family. Yes, I want to say, that my mother did not always like this. She sometimes told him that he spent too much time at work. But he told her that... he couldn't do otherwise, that he needed to help everyone. And this, at my tender young age, was such an example of serving people, which I took for myself into my personal baggage so that I myself could later... be the same, although not a physician of the physical body. But a writer is often a healer of human souls. After all, my level of previous incarnations was the 20th, that is a healing angel. And I decided to take an example from my father and heal people with words, that is, heal their souls, showing them through my works how people experience various troubles, how they get out of them, what happens to them. That is, I wrote my works not only for earnings, although that too. But most of all precisely in order to help people heal themselves with the help of words. And the example of this fortitude and diligence, hard work capacity was my father. As for his strictness, yes, he was quite strict, but he was fair. For example, in our house, despite the mischief of the younger children, that is, my brothers and sisters, physical punishment was not taken as a rule. As was customary in many other families, even of higher estates. He never raised a hand against us. He never raised a hand against our mother. The only time when... He began to have trials. after moving he now shows as to the village. he decided together with mom to be closer to nature. and having saved money from his work as a doctor. He acquired an estate with peasants. I remind you that at that time there were serf peasants. That means, simply put, he acquired an estate with people, together with them. Yes, people were sold then. And he became their owner. That is, he became like their master. But not having experience in such work with them, he began to suffer losses. That is, he could not establish... the work of this estate so that it would bring profit. There began crop failures, these serf peasants hid from him their, their production there of animal and plant products. He didn't know how to check all this. They, one could say, deceived him. And this, among other things, led to his character beginning to deteriorate. I remember that when I was, well, shows as about 10-11 years old, we had like a strong fire. And he began to suspect arson. by these peasants of his, but nothing was proven. And after that he accumulated such a debt, a large monetary debt. And then my mother became seriously ill, and she already had an illness called tuberculosis before. And from all these stresses she... Her illness worsened, she as if took to her bed. And he worried about her. He worried about his estate, about us, about the children. And because of this he was already irritable and began to buy himself vodka sometimes. To, as it were, relieve stress. But still he fought with himself, fought with his affliction. Even if he shouted at someone, he later asked for forgiveness. Therefore I have no grievances or claims specifically against my father. It became especially bad for him after the death of my mother. Because he loved her very much. And he took her death very hard and became... He began to be irritated by literally everything. he shows me such a depression. Nothing pleased him anymore. He even stopped going to church and praying. That is, as if... As if he was offended by God for not saving his beloved. That is, there was such a feeling. And... He also died because of a conflict with his peasants, he quarreled with them. And he, so to speak, his heart gave out. That is precisely there was like a scandal because they started sowing incorrectly somehow, conducting some kind of passive activity. He yelled at them, being in this... clouded state of mind. And accordingly they also started yelling at him and insulting him, and he couldn't bear it. His heart started to hurt him. That is, it was not murder, it was what is called, a pauplexic stroke? Well, unless you call it moral murder, because they insulted him there, show, as they answered rudely. I understand. According to one version, having received news of your father's death, you had your first epileptic seizure. This... I have already recognized the reason in the spiritual world. Yes, tell us, The thing is, I already spoke about the ancestral karma which I took. upon myself for developing patience and humility. Part of this ancestral karma was that I chose to incarnate through parents, well, specifically through a mother who already had this disease – tuberculosis. And when my body was forming in her womb, as you call it, the tuberculosis bacteria, penetrated… me and damaged my brain. That is, shows as if a congenital form. And all my childhood I was like that, that is, showed as such, weak, like constantly coughing. Well, such, as if tuberculosis, but it was in a sort of chronic form, that is, it did not destroy him severely. Yes, that is, my lungs, even then the immune system fought, preserved them. But concerning the brain, there a focus of such. damage by these tubercular bacteria of the brain matter arose. And because of that a focus of convulsive activity arose there, which under stress... I found out, first, of my mother's death. I already had stress then. Literally immediately my brother and I learned of the death... or rather murder of our beloved writer Alexander Pushkin. We were very upset, because all this overlapped one on another. And already then I had... states when I didn't understand what around me was real or not, and I started hearing like noises voices that somehow called me. And... Already in the spiritual world I understood that due to the structure of my brain I simply began to hear the voices of subtle-material beings. And then, under the next stress, all this already resulted in me having a convulsive seizure. That is, shows how this brain damage, received during incarnation due to this infection from the mother, who later died of tuberculosis. And for what reason I took this body, I already understood this in the spiritual world in order to, first, to... And accepting my body and my illness also to develop patience in myself. that was my first task. And my second task was to direct the energy as a healing angel to heal the body. And this too was fulfilled in the sense that I did not have destruction of the lungs for so long, although these bacteria lived in them. Yes, I understand. He now simply shows me with images, that he directed, as his higher self, he was also in the spiritual world, that is, his part, directed to him energy such, which temporarily suppressed these bacteria, which in the end later destroyed him. But that happened not at five years, not at ten years, that is, he could have died in childhood. or in his youth. But because his higher self sent energy, he now simply shows me with an image, these bacteria were suppressed. And concerning epilepsy, that was a consequence. of the received ancestral infection. And it was activated only due to stress related to the death of close people. That is, it's like a signal in the brain started passing incorrectly. That is, this stress, sadness from parting... And with mom, and from Pushkin's death, and with dad later. And plus this lesion in the brain, this like... Like a cyst, perhaps. from tuberculosis, which formed, congenital. And all this overlapped each other, and the illness arose. I understand. Thank you very much. In many of your works, one way or another, the plot of suicide is present. Well, this is in "Notes from Underground" of course, and "Polzunkov" in "The Idiot," and Kirillov and Stavrogin in "Demons." You have an essay "Two Suicides." where you considered the death of two girls. In a word, one could say that you studied the psychology of a suicide with particular passion, tried to get to the bottom of it. Question, what is connected with such attention to the question of suicide? I wanted to help those people who would read these works to understand themselves, reading the experiences of those heroes who came to this conclusion. who came to this suicide, I wanted to show, that... I understand their experiences. And he shows me "yes." Next to these heroes there were always paths of exit, which they did not use. And I wanted with these works to show that one must never give up, that one must never leave life, because I showed that they did not use these. these chances although they could have. Well there already, yes, that is, such, as describing the experiences of these people again for the purpose of healing, so that people who will read this would recognize themselves in it. And this would help them as if to examine themselves, as a Mirror. And with the help of this they could get out of the spiritual pit, into which they had immersed themselves. Such a technique. Yes, I understand. Thank you very much. In childhood you often thought you were dying, and you, like Gogol, were afraid of falling into a lethargic sleep and even left such pre-death notes with instructions, so that, if you suddenly died, they would definitely check before burial whether you were really dead. Question, where does this fear of early death and this lethargic sleep come from? I had this fear, I had other fears, for example, I had a fear of darkness, a fear of going insane. This was because of my states when I felt unwell. and didn't know whether I would wake up tomorrow. And therefore this instinct of self-preservation of mine, it came into an excited state and sent me fears of death. Actually my big fear at that time was the fear of death, which was caused by my weak health, weak body. I already told why that was, due to ancestral reasons, ancestral karma. And I experienced various fears. which were in different forms, but beneath them the same fear of death was hidden. And a little... Well, now shows as time passed, with the course of life I coped with them. That is, it was in childhood, in youth, and with the course of life I coped with these fears. That is, I didn't have them later anymore. I understand. Thank you very much. I cannot help but ask you about ludomania, the irresistible passion for gambling, which, as... We know, you suffered for a long time, but, by the way, miraculously managed to get rid of it. Question – how did it appear, what is the reason, and how did you manage to get rid of this passion? I was looking for a way to acquire a lot of money at once, in order, first, to pay off debts, and secondly, to help my relatives and the many people who wrote to me. The thing is, I not only engaged in literary activity, I also had activity as a publisher of a journal, even a series of journals, and there was a column where people wrote to me personally. And they often asked me for help, and also often came to my apartment, where I lived, where I rented, people often came and told about their misfortunes. That is, I was like a patron, a sponsor. That is, shows, as gave them money, gave them food, gave them things. because I considered it my duty to help. And including materially. And not only relatives. And for this, naturally, a lot of money was needed. After all, the more you help people in a material sense, the more such fame about you spreads. And the more come to you. Like to a generous money bag. which, unfortunately, I was not at that time, as I was not yet so famous to receive huge fees. Especially since literary critics often pursued me, because not all of them liked my works. And publishers also pay attention to criticism and can because of it reduce the fee. for future works. They say, we don't know how this will sell. After all, you are criticized. But nevertheless, I had already taken upon myself the duty, obligation to help people. And fame about me spread both in Petersburg and in the nearest surroundings, and completely unfamiliar people often turned to me. with illnesses, that is, to give for treatment, for food. But I could not refuse them, because they were hoping on me. And if I helped one, with what wording, how, with what would I motivate refusal to another. Then they would already be unequal for me, it turns out. And I was looking for an opportunity to work for everyone at once. And when I was... Well, I decided... Well, I had a fee for my works, I decided to go, well, like around Europe. Well, to make such a journey. To see if it was really as good there, as my friends told me, belonging to the Westernizer camp. they very much described the advantages of Western countries, more developed compared to Russia. I went there, it really was very beautiful such like restaurants, halls. But again beautiful for whom? For rich, wealthy gentlemen. For the oppressed class, well like, such poor peasants, life there was not sweet even in some ways worse than ours. And there I saw, a casino. Moreover they were there, as if playing cards, making different bets. sometimes wins, sometimes loses. And there one friend of mine, well, more like an acquaintance, called me to one such casino. I played a few times, I won a large sum. Well, there I placed a bet. shows as spinning roulette and there the ball. The thought came to me to place a bet there. And I placed it and won something like, maybe, 10 thousand marks. that is, it was a huge sum. At that time you could buy a house. in Europe. Well, I partly paid off debts, partly set aside for helping people, and then decided to try the same easy path again. If I take from this same money and start playing again, then the thought will come to me again, where to place the bet. And again this lucky arrow will point to me, as the winner. And I waited for this lucky arrow practically for 10 years. And then I realized that it was all an illusion, when I had already lost a lot, when I had already started borrowing money from friends, when I had already started selling my clothes and even pawning my wife's wedding ring. I realized that it was a sin, like a sinful activity. that is, first of all, it develops selfishness. First of all, I prayed to God. Asked, to let me win again, to pay off debts. And such a thought came to me, that I will not send you winning again, as this is spoiling you. It develops in you selfishness, greed, love of money. And you did not understand my grace when you won the first time. You began to fall into love of money, greed and move away from your purpose. Therefore you will not win anything more. You can only lose the rest of what you have. Well, such a thought came, and I wept bitterly. Shows, as was alone. Then I tried to play a few more times, but I was totally unlucky. And even those who played next to me, even those who were beginners, they won. And I didn't. And I understood, that one day my eyes opened. I said to myself, what am I doing? Now being in the spiritual world, I understood that it was an appeal from my guardian angel, my as it were mentors. Among my mentors was Archangel Michael. And my higher self, well and of course my wife supported me, well my second wife supported me in this. She never reproached me, she only spoke about that, that... Yes, she did not reproach me, but she spoke about that, that... it would be better if I lived by my labor, that it would be better if I distributed my income so that I had enough of what I had. And that it would be better to stop chasing these ghosts, because you lose more. And I showed her, that is even after the first win I had more like smaller wins. I told her, that I won 100 francs. 200 francs. And she said, well, I have it all written down in a notebook, you lost much more. You took the money and lost it again. And she said, it hurts me to look at you, how you torment yourself, because I later got very upset, that I came without a penny in my pocket, that then... My friends simply came to the hotel and paid even... Yes, to the hotel... To the hotel keeper. that is, yes, to the hotel owner, because I even owed for the room. It was all very painful for me to see, and in the end I decided that I would never touch... to this... to any things, cards, to roulette, to... to any objects. which are used in gambling for money. Because it is a deception, an illusion. It is the creation of an image, which leads a person into love of money, and he loses his as it were mind. He no longer sees anything, hears nothing and only wants to win. But in reality loses everything. That is, shows, that such a realization happened to him. I understand, thank you. I just thought about something. Looking at your life, one cannot shake the feeling that you generally had difficult relationships with money, you, despite the winnings you told us about, well in general, you always had a terrible, well shortage of money. And it's not only that you gave away, as they say, out of great kindness to a large number of people, left and right. Moreover, as I understand, There were not a few swindlers and adventurers who took advantage. I didn't pay attention to that. Didn't pay attention. Yes, that is, I didn't check. If, for example, they told me, that my child is sick, there, I ask for treatment, there, they even cried, there, a woman, she could even come, there, come without a child, and I didn't ask her to show documents, there, nothing, that is, I simply gave. I considered it improper. Not to believe a person in his grief. Yes, well, besides these episodes, well that is we know that your own orderly robbed you, well money was stolen from you all the time, well and you yourself said that your fees were... Yes, and publishers like underpaid, that is, there was such. Well, can one say that you somehow had a disturbed connection with the financial egregore, that somehow money didn't come into your hands? So, interesting. If that is indeed, well a fair statement, Why are you like that? The thing is, that this too was part of my own plan, which I arranged in the spiritual world about developing patience, humility and diligence. If I had a lot of money, which I would use and accumulate wealth for myself, it would be difficult for me to cultivate patience and humility in myself, as on the contrary that would be a reason for pride. Excellent answer. Thank you very much. Dear friends, who lack money, listen to this answer. Tell me, please, you mentioned your friends, who in difficult days for you paid at the hotel, paid your debts, in particular, the priest Yanyshev in Wiesbaden paid your debts. What kind of person was he and were you even acquainted with him? I was, but not only him. That is, there were several people. Shows me several people, who like... some were acquainted through literature. some were like just a friend, and they learned about it. there, me or from my wife, well that is it was no secret. And they there came to me, asked, how are you doing. Well, me, my wife. And, says, there, I there, overall there, haven't paid for the hotel for a week, they want to evict me already and sue me. And, accordingly, they went and paid my debt. And I was very ashamed and told them, that I would definitely repay them. I felt very uncomfortable. And they demanded nothing, they simply said, Well like didn't reproach, but also said, that you need to do something about this, well, that is like stop gambling. And here he now shows the priest, said, that I there will pray for you, otherwise you are overcome by love of money. And I, when I had at least some money, still tried to repay them. Another thing, that I could repay some only after several years. That is, like didn't like to be in debt. That I am owed, that's fine. That I myself didn't like to be in debt. Thank you. Another dramatic episode of your life is connected with money. On the hard labor they tried to poison you, the convicts, to get hold of the money that was sent to you in a letter in an envelope. Well, there often such cases and killed for money, and even for stronger clothing than a neighbor's. So, well, why weren't you killed? God preserved. There is some story, connected with a dog, which appeared and ate the poisoned food, letting you understand that the food was poisoned, and you that time didn't... Yes, I offered. He shows, as offered from his food, and it... became ill. then I understood, yes. In general, shows, that God sent it. Such a circumstance, that I did not depart in incarnation. God. And in general, you said that Archangel Michael was... your curator? Yes. And who else? Later, when I started reading the Gospel more. praying, communicating with Jesus through prayer, Jesus became my Curator. Well like Curator, Spirit, who instructed me, mentor. Archangel Michael literally from childhood, that is, he curated me. Thanks to the memories of Sofia Kovalevskaya we know about the moment when you experienced a personal theophany. That happened already after hard labor in the settlement, when a friend-atheist came to visit you, you talked with him all night, and in the morning the bells rang. Here are your words. I truly comprehended God and was imbued with him. He shows, that such happened to me many times. Many times. What does that mean, "comprehending God" and what does "imbued" mean? Well, that is, it's some kind of communication. What state? So, now I'll try to explain in words. It's when a clear awareness comes to you that God is not just somewhere, that He is directly next to you and is looking at you. and you feel his gaze with your whole soul, that is, shows, as he surrounds you. And you don't see it with vision and don't understand with the mind, but comprehend with your heart. That is, it simply becomes clear to you. And it is accompanied by such an influx of joy, love and such as gratitude for existence. And at that moment you are even ready to die and fear nothing. you, even if your body suffers, your spirit rejoices. Wonderful words. Tell me, this Gospel, which was given to you on the way to hard labor by the wife of the Decembrist Fonvizin, did it play any important role in your this movement towards God? Well, I read the Bible before too, but precisely being... In confinement there we worked, that is like construction shows, as building a building, and buildings they took us there like. There was heavy physical labor, very weak, meager nutrition. there was such cold in winter. And the only thing that could distract from these everyday difficulties and… preserve oneself as a Personality, so that the system wouldn't crush you. Was the only, soulful distraction from all the darkness around, it was reading the Gospel. That is, precisely in these difficult circumstances, I was not physically free. This too was part of. my life tasks of overcoming patience and humility in myself, where else to develop it if not in confinement. There you already depend on… there your life does not depend on you. There you are completely in the power of people alien to you. who are negatively disposed towards you. There are no loving father and mother nearby anymore. There are overseers, there are fellow prisoners, whose souls are in their own way distorted, that is, perverted. And they are far from angels. And in these circumstances, when I opened the Gospel, I immersed myself in another world. I immersed myself in a world of love, harmony. one could say, mental health. That is, I found in the words of the Gospel that grace which nourished my soul. And therefore that book became the dearest to me. And even when I arrived in Petersburg already after hard labor and my service as a soldier, I still took that book with me, it was with me in all travels and including was present at my physical death. That is, it's even this Gospel in this particular book, because it became my talisman, my spiritual channel connecting me with Jesus. Well, that is such significance of this book. Thank you very much. This hard labor, where you ended up, did you plan it for yourself in the spiritual world in advance? Was it a mandatory element of your fate? One of the probabilities. Could it have turned out differently? Yes, it could. There was one of the probabilities, because I... That is, I met people who... First, turned my head when I was still young. I had my first success in book printing. Everyone praised me and said that with my work "Poor People." I reveal the truth to the people, support them. And this was in tune with my inner conviction, that I am a healer of souls. But gradually these friends led me aside towards condemning the state. condemning the official church. they showed me such as prohibited literature, which was banned by censorship, which said things that for me then seemed like right things, that... Well, like socialist ideas, that the well-being of people should be put first, that one must fight corruption, for example, and so on. That is, there were such appeals that aroused in me, well, like anger, one could say, anger at the existing state system. And at that time I was still young, and I did not consider that everything exists by God's will. And therefore I began to move away from my purpose. to cultivate. to develop patience, humility and diligence in myself and began to develop such as authority, leadership, that is, my leadership instinct began to awaken, because of which circumstances developed around me such that one of the members of this circle like, I hear Antonio, Anton, he went and reported on us to the gendarmerie investigative department imperial, internal affairs organ. This was like an investigative organ. He reported that we read a letter. there was such Vissarion Belinsky and they had a correspondence with Nikolai Gogol I think, I don't know, replaced. In the egregore it's not entirely clear whether this letter is famous now, but I feel by the energy that many, at least some present have read it. And I think you have read it too. If that is so, well in your field it's visible, then you know what is written there. It was a letter. Very sharp. With condemnation. of the emperor, with condemnation of the hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church and in general the entire system. And there were such expressions, well, on the verge of insult. for the oppression of serfs, for corruption, for that, that priests hide behind religion and oppress the people. have a lot of land, land plots. and introduce paid services and as it were profit from simple people. And when we read it, I will be honest with you, I was admiring such courage. Because one had to be truly brave, one could say, in the middle of the 19th century to make such a statement. for that one could pay with one's head. Life. And so one of those who was with us. read it, he reported. I also read it by hearing, that is, an excerpt. of this letter. Well, we were all detained, put in the Peter and Paul Fortress, kept us in cells, interrogated, even didn't feed, didn't let sleep, interrogated constantly. Not us? told, some gave out others, as along the chain who was a member there. and accused us of wanting to overthrow. the emperor, that we want generally some kind of like attempt on him there, well that is they made such a case against us, that we plotted against Nicholas I. That is, against that emperor, you call him Nicholas I. And we were all sentenced to death by shooting. That is, shows as shooting with rifles. Then they brought us to the square. It was already winter. And I remember well that moment when I said goodbye to life. because they had already read the sentence to us. Those of us, including me, who were of the nobility estate, were expelled from the nobility, shows, as breaking something like a sword or a saber over the head, reading the corresponding decree, that these people are expelled from the nobility, as they have disgraced this estate by an attack against state power. They broke them over us. they deprived us of privileges. of everything. And we as rootless, belonging to no one people, in clothes, like a robe and something like that, loose, they stood us against a wall and already aimed rifles. I understood, that I had not more than a minute left to live. But here at that time I had just turned 28. You know, this last minute, it was so precious to me, I so wanted to live. I didn't want to leave. from this gray sky, which had like light snow, I understood, that each breath of mine would be the last. And I hurried to memorize the impression of this square, of what surrounded it, to as if take with me. I didn't have such a strong fear of death. I precisely wanted to stay, because I had not done what I wanted. I felt that my soul had not fulfilled its task. This feeling, that this shouldn't have been. that it's some kind of scenery, some theater. And when they were already aiming rifles at us, I expected at any moment from there... I expected at any moment death flying out from there. the command was heard, well, stand down, lower rifles. And here shows, someone like on a horse like that, rides in and reads a new decree. To cancel, to pardon. I heard poorly. I was... I didn't understand what was happening, because... Well, I was already ready to appear before the Creator. And therefore was focused on myself. From there suddenly sounds! Cancel, pardon! So, what? What happened? He somehow didn't believe. And they read the new decree of the emperor to replace the death penalty with hard labor imprisonment. Nobility was not returned to us, at that moment in time. That is, sent simply as criminals. To Omsk we still took a long time to get there, shows something like a train, that goes very long, such wooden carriages, very cold. And when they took us away, I understood, that I remained alive, and I was so happy even with these conditions, because I understood, that everything could have ended, and I would not have fulfilled my purpose then. And I precisely understood, that it was not by chance. That this order to replace the death penalty. and give us life. This order was given as from above, that the Emperor here is only a conductor of Divine will. And even when I rode into exile, I understood, that my life, I fully realized, that my life is in God's hands. And then they gave us this Gospel. I already there like started reading, as I already said, I felt, that this is my window to God, into the spiritual world. And all this led to me understanding that my infatuation with socialist ideas was a utopia, was a delusion, an illusion, because the oppression of the people is also not accidental. There was serfdom at that time. and that a person who is born a slave has the same chance as his master. to come to God. And that is the most important thing. Regardless of material conditions. Because without God a person, even a tsar, Even a ruler of all slaves on earth cannot be happy. At that time I fully Great thanks. There at the Omsk hard labor before the New Year 1852 they allowed to arrange a theatrical performance. And you acted as a director. Question, what play did you stage and was there audience success. Well he shows, that it's... about the life of peasants and their love for each other. Did you write the play yourself? Well yes, well as... Yes, but he... Yes, but I took its plot from books I had read. Did the audience like it? Well yes, but not everyone. That is, there were critics, but there were those who... didn't like. Thank you very much. Well, your attitude to faith, we understand, your attitude to the church. As far as I can judge, you were not a disciplined Christian. Well, went to church little, neglected sacraments, had a priest. and had some friends, like a spiritual father. And even several, changed over life there. There are memories of your wife Anna Grigorievna that when she went to church, it happened that you scolded her for that, that instead of these trips she should have done household chores. Well, smiles, that in every family there are different conversations. I very much respected. the church, but I wouldn't say that I was some kind of fanatic, but still I tried to go, even traveled to a monastery, visited monks and even like loved to live near a church, near a temple. Monastery, you obviously mean Optina Pustyn, where you went after the death of your son, Alyosha, together with Vladimir. And earlier I traveled. And earlier I traveled. Like pilgrimage. And to different monasteries and churches, and in general, where even I visited Europe, I still went to. a Catholic church, still loved to listen to the service. Well, not exactly every Sunday. Loved the bell ringing, that is singing, prayers. I felt good about that. Simply because of my activity I did not always have such an opportunity. And concerning my wife... Well if I said something to her, being irritated. that is I... Sometimes my illness, well specifically after an epileptic seizure I had... Well not so often, but once every few months there were seizures. Because of that I had such as lowering of mood. That is shows as such depression of the brain. because of which everything irritated. Therefore I could say something to her in the heat of the moment, but that was not my direct conviction, that one shouldn't do so. I understand. And this meeting with the elder Ambrose in Optina Pustyn, did it have some defining significance for you or just one of many meetings with clergymen? He returned hope to me, even as not hope, but trust in God, because after the death of my last son. Alexei, my, one could say, faith in a just God wavered. because I had a strong paternal feeling for him. I would have been sorry. Especially since he died before my eyes. and that's first, and second that he died with convulsions, he thrashed. And I knew, that I am guilty of this, because he was born from me, and I transmitted this to him through the blood. That is, I constantly asked God, for what reason you gave birth from me a child who must because of me, because of my illness suffer. And for that reason I traveled to churches, to monasteries, that is, shows, as in Petersburg, in St. Petersburg visited a monastery and there also conversed with a priest, as if confessed. They advised me to go to the elders in Russia. Yes, that is there... a monk, an elder, who as answers questions, as from God. That is, he was like such a conductor, one could say. When I asked him, for what reason my son must suffer, that is, I asked my question. I received such an answer, that your son, like an angel of God, that is, you didn't name him in vain. In honor of Saint Alexei. who like as an angel. And that he left in this early age, he was only three years old. My three-year-old son died in my arms, and I could do nothing. And I. heard there like that it is the will of God, because When he left at a young age, he went straight to God. And this... to you, that is to you and your wife Anna... He said, you need this in order to completely trust God. After all you as received this child from His hands, so into His hands you gave it back. He did not belong to you actually. Only believe, that his soul is well now. That is, shows he such, sent consolation. And I felt in his words the presence of the Holy Spirit. And... I began to thank God for that, that He revealed His love to me in such a way, that is through death. and of my first daughter. I had another child die. and that first daughter and last son Alexei through the death of my children I understood the sufferings of the Mother of God, who also had her son Jesus Christ dying on the cross before her. She, despite seeing his sufferings, did not stop loving the Heavenly Father, the Creator of the Universe. And I realized that I have no right to make claims against God, as in His hand is the life of every person and He knows better. whom to take when to Thank you very much. In the memoirs of the cell attendant, of the elder Ambrose, there is a description of this your visit, and after you left Optina Pustyn, the elder said to his cell attendant, "This is a repentant one." And do you know that… turned out to be an elder in Russia after meeting with Leo Tolstoy, with whom he also communicated. Well, of course, you don't know about that, we learned only when we got to those archives. He said, very proud. In this connection a question about Tolstoy. In 1878 you and he together, the only time in your lives, each in your life, found yourselves in Petersburg together, in one place, at a public lecture. of Vladimir Solovyov, the philosopher. It was assumed that you would be introduced to each other there, however your mutual friend, Nikolai Strakhov, who seemed supposed to do that, for some reason did not do it. We have already communicated with the spirit of Lev Nikolaevich, and he revealed to us the secret that this meeting was planned by you in advance. and that you were supposed to get acquainted, and moreover, should have become, but this from the words of the spirit of Lev Nikolaevich, should have become his spiritual mentor. And this meeting was supposed to change not only his life, but the course of all Russian literature, and perhaps Russian civilization. Well, I cannot help but ask you, why did this acquaintance of yours not take place, which, it seems, was... planned in advance. Yes, indeed we had an agreement with this Spirit, that incarnation, that we would, well not simply get acquainted, but that we would be friends in some sense, well in the spiritual I would become his mentor, although I was not a priest, well mentor in the sense of such as a friend, who gives advice not only on literature, but on life, including on... social life, that is, he was such an enthusiastic person, because I know this spirit, and also he, so to speak, resisted against the church. I needed to convey to him all the beauty of the Gospel, as manifested precisely through the church. For what reason we did not get acquainted, that for what reason we ended up in the same room? and were not introduced to each other, for the reason that our mentors brought us there, that is, like our angels. directed our thoughts, so that we would come. As our incarnated parts, our souls were at that time occupied with their own thoughts, their friends. like we didn't pay attention... They, well that is, as in bodies, when we were, our parts, they didn't pay attention to each other. that is they were not interested, although they like were not far from each other. but their attention was occupied with its momentary these experiences, worries, conversations with acquaintances. And what a hustle and bustle there. And therefore like glances simply slid over the face. of each other. Our glances slid like over each other's faces and did not imprint in memory. That is, shows as just an unfamiliar person. And for what reason were we not introduced? For the reason that the one who was acquainted with both of us, yes, he had such intentions, but he too was occupied with like bustle, and he made a choice. Now shows, as someone distracted him with a conversation. And when he already remembered, we had already parted. And we never met again, that is physically. And therefore it did not happen. I want to say, that, we had a meeting, so to speak, scheduled, planned before incarnation, and friendship was planned. That is, not simply met and talked, but like friendship. But far from all plans are fulfilled in incarnation and for various reasons. because the incarnated part may begin to behave not as, as the whole spirit expects before splitting into Higher Self and Soul. Soul. The soul's memory of its agreements is blocked. and at the same time appears, but at the same time free will remains. And therefore it can behave in such a way, that, one could say, figuratively, the higher self only sighs, sitting on a cloud in the spiritual world, to speak figuratively. I understand. Thank you very much. Yes, this person who was supposed to introduce you, Nikolai Strakhov. What kind of figure is he in your life? He seems to me a rather sinister character. But it's not only that because of his article the fatal question your journal with your brother was closed. Well, on one hand you were friends with him, on the other hand you left a rather unflattering characteristic in your diaries about him. Well, he is a critic. It turns out, he criticized everyone, and he had such a critical mind, he didn't trust people. And for that reason even was aloof, that is cold in relations with friends. And often, well like unpleasantly, spoke about mutual acquaintances. Well he was undoubtedly a talented writer, critic and very good with words. And with this like word could offend. that, well, not in that he wrote that article, he could, for example, read some of my like stories and even like tell mutual acquaintances, that he wrote such, that is, like shows as criticism, idiot, and also he was more inclined like to socialism, shows also a little such materialistic thinking was, well not like, for example, The same Vissarion Belinsky, already there extreme form of rejection. I already spoke about the letter. Yes. Nikolai did not have that, but he was inclined still more in that direction. We had disagreements with him on questions of faith. he was more inclined to such a rational. socialist model, there was fascinated by science, there he... read, for example, discoveries of scientists, something of mathematicians, perhaps. And like said, that they are discovering the world, and you go to church, pray. Well yes, good. He says, that he also loved to read scientific journals, I had many books there. I subscribed to. journals and newspapers and read them and even like made clippings and followed the political situation in the world and followed scientific developments that is shows such as versatile was quite a person with a very such large what like memory and read a lot That is, not only wrote, but read different authors. Thank you. But I still have a little more about Strakhov. The thing is, that after your death he in a letter, which he sent to Tolstoy, presented you as a person who allegedly, citing his close friendship with you, presented you as a person who was allegedly drawn to abominations. who praised all vices. But the most outrageous, citing Pavel Viskovatov and Turgenev he claimed that you confessed to many that once you committed a disgusting act, namely bribed a governess of a little girl and got the opportunity to spend time with her, with the child, in a bathhouse, well, according to Strakhov's words, to fornicate. Well, already when After Tolstoy's death this letter was made public, your widow, Anna Grigorievna, published a response and asked friends to refute these speculations. In general, the meaning of this response was that one should not confuse the writer with his characters. And, well, of course, you were already dead by that time, and we could not get your comments on this, essentially, accusation. Now I would like you to comment on these insinuations of Strakhov. He could think such a thing. I communicated quite openly with different people, including with children. And indeed I could, that is shows, as I already said, as different people came to me, with children came, to ask for help, and even simply for advice. And including there were women with girls, and in his presence this also happened. And I communicated quite openly, I could hug people, even a girl. Possibly, behaved in such a way, that led him to some suspicions regarding my attraction to children. But I want to say, that I never had such a thing, I always treated children in a fatherly manner. And for what reason did he think so? I can only say, that because of his character, which was accustomed to see in other people what was in himself. that is shows, possibly, he himself experienced that and therefore subconsciously accused others of it. He describes in quite detail, how allegedly you told these circumstances to Turgenev. And I got the impression that... that in these stories, if they really existed, you were somehow working through the internal line of your characters. And it seems to me, that this story of rape ultimately formed the basis of Stavrogin's confession in "At Tikhon's" in chapter 9, part two of "Demons." Well, there, where Stavrogin tells how he seduced Matryosha. Katkov refused to print this chapter in "The Russian Messenger," very scandalous, despite the fact that you, as I understand, attempted to somehow revise the text, reduce the degree of scandalousness. Where am I going with all this? My question. This chapter was ultimately removed. And in a separate edition of the novel in 1873 you theoretically had the opportunity to return this... scandalous chapter with Stavrogin's confession of raping a girl back into the novel. into the internal world of the character. Why did you not return this chapter back? And most often this chapter is published as an appendix, but there are editions, where this ninth chapter with Stavrogin's confession is included in the main text. How do you advise us to read it, with this chapter inside or... then additionally study it. I think, that here simply censorship, well like there was censorship of books upon publication, the publishers told me this, as representatives of the publishing house, that this, well, is already too much, this won't pass. I say, well as you wish, it's your business, to include, not to include. But I saw nothing particularly special in this, it's simply like reflection, that is like, yes, that which you said, as a confession. of raping a girl, it was the thoughts of a character, that is of that character, whom I invented, like endowed with these thoughts, well one could say thought forms, in your terms. I did this with a certain purpose, to show his moral and ethical state of this character. I don't think that there was anything improper or obscene there. Simply there were quite harsh thoughts. about raping a child. Indeed, among friends we discussed this moment. Possibly, but I'm not sure, but possibly, Nikolai precisely considered this as my some kind of confession. Regarding Turgenev, although he could, he had an unpleasant attitude towards me because of our literary and ideological disagreements. And then he should have accused me, probably, of murder as well, because I described in great detail the experience of a murderer, how he felt, how he decided to murder. For example, I speak of Raskolnikov, of Rodion Raskolnikov. Many pages are occupied by his thoughts, which I wrote. That is, he shows as in the spiritual world he preserved memory not of specific words, but of the idea. The idea of how he wrote it. Like how he sits and writes. Now shows an image. And the idea was that to Rodion Raskolnikov this thought gradually came. He at first dismissed it, then he began to accept it. And then up to the point where he... hid the axe, that murder weapon, yes, and went to her, to that old woman. And, by the way, killed her for money. For the money, which she, in his opinion, owed him. Well, as underpaid. For that, that he gave her something as a pledge. Accordingly, when he came to her, there all is described in detail. What did he feel? How did he think, that now he needs to get out the axe at this moment? What did he feel when he struck? When she fell? How his hands trembled? How his thoughts got mixed up? That is, all that was described in detail. But then Nikolai Strakhov and Turgenev should have... said that I am a murderer too, because I described in detail the state of a murderer. That was my task as an author, as a writer, to get into the role of my characters, to stand in their place and mentally imagine, what would I feel there, being in that room with that axe, for example, if I decided to kill. what would I feel. And all that I imagined and described, that is shows, as he indeed, as his mental body moved as into the astral, that is, it was like astral travel. But it was, that is, he felt that he was writing, as in the body, but mentally was in this plot. And I indeed felt these sensations and wrote them. Also with Stavrogin, and with Marmeladov, and with many other characters, many dozens. And I even remember, that when I wrote my works, I even thought, how to... How to name these characters? What surnames to give them? That is, what to give them... surnames, so that they would be speaking ones. Why exactly such a surname? That is, shows, that this was like... Part fantasy, yes, part creativity, and part was like prompts from the spiritual world, from the side of Archangel Michael, part from the side of Jesus, part from the side of my guardian angel, so that these ideas would be expressed in a more understandable form. Well, precisely such details of crimes, which were there, I described, because I imagined and in the place. of the murderer and in the place of a child rapist. By the way, I also imagined myself, because, well how else would I describe what he felt, what he thought. But these were only thoughts, thought forms for the sake of writing the text, that is this work. But physically that did not happen. just as physically there was no murder on my part yes you described in detail indeed that murder of the old pawnbroker and her like some sister, that is killed two people yes the peculiarity of the situation is that approximately three months after You started writing the first part of "Crime and Punishment." And the manuscript with the description of this episode was already sent to the publisher. In Moscow, a murder occurred, exactly similar to the one described by you. The student Danilov killed the pawnbroker, the retired captain Popov and his maid. How to explain such a coincidence down to the smallest details? Such happened before, even in Petersburg. that is such like described circumstances that happened some time later? Well, I said, that I subscribed to newspapers, I looked at, including, criminal chronicles. No, wait. But one thing, when you start from publications, of what happened in newspapers. We know that the impetus for the idea of "Crime and Punishment"... was the case of the clerk Gerasim Chistov, who allegedly axed two old women, but that case was not proven. But I am talking about events that happen in real life, as if according to scenarios written by you earlier. He smiles and says, that such a scenario is rare. Something like that described, extraordinary it was. Well actually, the details, it seems to me, not every day in Moscow were pawnbrokers and others axed by military men. Well okay, since this murderer in Moscow, since this manuscript was only submitted, he could not yet have familiarized himself with it for known reasons and been inspired by this idea, then one could say thus, that the idea of murder for money, and a pawnbroker is a person who collects money. at that time was in the air. An axe is a common such tool. Murder, used in case of attack. Here I'll say now, for example, someone will write a detective story about how they attacked a banker with a pistol and shot him. And then it will actually happen. Someone will be surprised, this is the plot, which, in fact, is expected in case of murder. And now there are murders on grounds with various tools like knives. And concerning, why an old woman suffered there and there, well even purely psychologically it's easier to attack an old woman than a pawnbroker. a man of large build. that is she is simply physically weaker. That means easier to deal with her and in that sense, that with less probability of receiving resistance. That is, it's like an ideal victim. I understand, thank you. They ask, why in the manuscript of "Demons" you constantly drew Gothic cathedrals? In the manuscript itself you drew cathedrals? Yes, literally several pages are published, where in large number architectural elements of Gothic cathedrals. I was pondering questions. on complex questions in this work, because there were questions of religion. Here shows as the struggle of these characters, they were there like revolutionarily disposed against the church, against faith. And I reflected on this, and reflecting, I drew these, like shows these. images, to enter a state of inspiration on this topic. Actually, often accompanied, shows, as in the margins something is depicted by him. Some images there. Yes, I understand. Thank you very much. The majority of your manuscripts, your main novels of the last period of your creativity, are lost. That is, your widow after 1917 moved your entire archive to Sochi, where shortly before that. Something like a dacha was bought. Until 1926 they remained there, and then they were sent on carts to Rostov-on-Don. And they got lost on the way together with the policeman Vladimir Chudov accompanying the cargo. He disappeared without a trace. In short, we are deprived of your manuscripts. Just in case I cannot help but ask. Maybe you can tell us where they are stored now, we would go and find them. after discarnation, I have not been occupied with this question. I knew it. Okay, thank you. A few questions about women. May I ask? Yes. Your acquaintance Ivan Panayev recounted in his memoirs, how in one high-society salon, well this was when you were still a young man, you were 25, you were introduced to a certain beauty, you were so struck by her beauty that you fainted. Was I introduced to many? And did you faint every time? I didn't faint from her beauty. I could feel unwell simply because of... Well, his state of health, so to speak. I understand. Because on the basis of this, as they say, memory many are inclined to conclude that every time, seeing a beautiful girl, you immediately faint. it turns out... But he smiles, says, that's all people. If they see that one thing happened after another, they immediately think it's a consequence. But that's not always the case. I understand. Around the same time you became a frequenter of brothels. In a letter to your brother, Mikhail you wrote... minutechkas, klarushkas, mariannas, etc. have become prettier but not available, but cost a terrible amount of money. The other day Turgenev and Belinsky scolded me to dust for a disorderly life. Question, why didn't you listen to your older comrades and led a disorderly sexual life? Why didn't I listen to my older comrades and led a disorderly sexual life? Because I had a very strong sexual temperament, which I directed in the absence, so to speak, of a lawful wife onto those objects which were accessible to me by... They became accessible to me by the money which I acquired for my first publications, for my books, for my stories. quite early, in adolescence I learned sexual pleasure through self-gratification. In this case sexual passion, it burned me from within, and I decided to stop doing that and direct my energy to live women. And was visiting a brothel at that time, an immoral act or more or less normal? They were open. And worked quite officially. There even were, well, that is shows as like some doctors. doctors, who examine women, so that they wouldn't have signs of contagious diseases. Something like gynecologists. And there were also special, like midwives, who, unfortunately, they arranged so, that they would introduce special herbs to abort conceived fetuses. That is, so that these women would not become mothers and the owners of the brothels would not lose income. By the way, sometimes brothels were owned by known counts, that is such as nobles. They received income from this and paid taxes to the state. And it was official. Of course, the Orthodox church knew about this. How did they relate? Well, they considered it fornication, that it's a sin. Why did I allow myself this? Because if I did not free my body from accumulated semen, I literally could not work, I was tormented by lust. And what kind of women did you like in general? It seems to me, of two types. Either such meek spiritually rich girls, or on the contrary... bright fatal beauties like Nastasya Filippovna. What I liked. That is, in appearance, but also internally. In youth I was attracted, shows, as short, such a little plump, who were shorter than me in height, I was of average height, and who were such submissive, shows as shy such. And already, actually, after meeting... Maria? That's your first wife, correct? Yes. He shows me such... She was already of a different type. That is, such, well, quite I see, at least, I now see her image, he shows me such, well, quite tall, such, slender figure, and such, long hair. And in character she was... Well, quite such a leader by character. But we got along as spiritually, because she was then married to Alexander. And I became friends with both him and her at the house of a mutual acquaintance. And there she always talked like that, shows, as speaks about the state, about religion. Well like such an intelligent woman. I liked her. views, which were close to mine, and we had something to talk about. And I later learned from her that her husband offended her in the sense that he raised his hand against her, because he was heavily into alcohol. And I felt sorry for her, that is, wanted to protect her. Then her husband died, she remained with a son. and I proposed, that is, shows, as proposing. lawful marriage. And after we had a lawful marriage, we began to live together and, actually, came back to Petersburg, then went to Europe. Well and began this life of mine, which I told about. concerning this gambling. I actually loved her very much, because she was not like these women from brothels, she was such as pure. And also was as believing, that is she believed in God, in Christ, and often spoke about it, and we often talked about it. She was as very outspoken. But sharp-tongued. She expressed much to me concerning everyday life. Not always I liked that, but nevertheless, there were no strong such conflicts. Well then she fell ill. by the way, also with tuberculosis. And I tried to help her, that is there hired doctors and arranged her in a sanatorium. But that didn't help, she died in my presence. She had a coughing fit, blood flowed. there she had a hemorrhage. And she died. That is as respiratory, couldn't breathe. I became very depressed, immediately didn't want to work. But I... saw her continuation in her son. And constantly kept him near me, well that is shows like. that boy loved, as my own. Well and after... My older brother also died And I didn't even feel such as a strong increase of my grief, because I simply had no time for that, I needed to resolve questions with his debts for... for the publishing house, that is he accumulated debts for publishing journals, and he didn't pay them off. And these his creditors came to me. as I was, one could say, the heir, our parents were already gone. And I as the eldest in the family, remaining, took upon myself these obligations for the funeral, for paying his debts and thought how to do all that. I needed the only thing I earned, to write books. And at the same time I... He continued to gamble, shows as gambling. And here to me the publisher, there said, yes, that which they showed, now they show me this story again, that he concluded a contract, then met the future second wife, and like another life began, because she was already different in character, she was more such as organized, that is she such, a little such strict. but at the same time loving. that is she like... like an angel surrounds with her care. And I had a different attitude towards her than towards Maria. Towards Maria there was still such as irritation, because not always I liked her character. She was sharp-tongued. And Anna, she was like grace. Not in vain her name translates as grace. She was very soft, feminine and with soft energy. maternal, because precisely with her I managed to have children, because with Maria that didn't work out. And also I was irritated by that, that Maria could not conceive children. as I already wanted an heir. We had a large family. ARCH! Anna gave birth to our first daughter, Sonya. And she died very early under a year old. And after that my Anya fell into despair, that compassion I felt, and desire, even greater love such, and desire to protect her, because she there indeed thought, I was afraid, lest she herself would not end her life. because she was much younger than me and had not yet experienced life's difficulties to such an extent. Therefore was not ready for these trials. And I was afraid that her soul would not cope. That is, not for myself I feared for her. then later... she gave birth. A second daughter. then a son, then another son, who died. more, well already later. And accordingly... After my discarnation she remained alive. I continued to protect her, that is shows, as sent to her, well, as with a phantom, that is he contacted both her and the two remaining alive children. Did you have an agreement with her before incarnation, that you would form a union on Earth? So, was there an agreement with Anna before incarnation, that you would form a family? Well, the answer is coming – yes, there was. That is, we were acquainted in the spiritual world. And after Anna's discarnation did you meet? Yes. And at what level is she? after incarnation she came out number 18. That is, did you descend to her? Yes. Listen, during your first family life you had a mistress, Apollinaria Suslova. And how is that explained? You say you loved your wife. There was a quarrel between me and Maria during that period. She was tired, so to speak, as it were then. Okay, I understand. Now just trying to find words. There was a quarrel. between me and Maria, on the grounds of my gambling. Wasting money. That is, she expressed to me in a harsh form and said, that... He doesn't love me anymore. and my attempts to reconcile with her led to nothing. That is like she was offended. And she even stopped, as she, for a couple of months fulfilling her conjugal duty. That is out of offense. That is she as purely domestic tasks performed, didn't intend to divorce. But said, that she was disgusted, that is shows as disgust. you arouse disgust to unite with you in marital intimacy. And with you, with you. That is like offense was. because you put money above our love. And I again felt, that... cannot work, because I am bursting with desire. These were constantly coming thoughts. Even if I look out the window at a girl, and immediately the thought shows, what kind. Good day! Already in the spiritual world I realized, that my body was so arranged, with such temperament, because this too, with such temperament, that is strongly developed kundalini energy, because this too was part of my plan for developing patience, humility even in sexual, carnal questions. But... It's easier to conceive such a plan in the spiritual world than to fulfill it in a body. Funny. In a difficult situation I found myself, I understand. And therefore I found some like Polina, well like Polya. Apollinaria? Well, I hear like Polina, Such as, very such beautiful, bright such woman, like something danced, something happened there. And we became close. And she knew who I was, that is as a famous writer, and she was flattered by my attention. And she agreed, so to speak, to help. Although she did not ask nor demand my divorce from my wife. But I want to say, this romance, so to speak, did not remain a secret from my friends, who informed my wife. That was such a complex, difficult conversation between us. I did not deny. I said, well you yourself chose not to fulfill your conjugal duty, shows, as started accusing her. of her own changes. for the reason that... That's unjust cruelty towards me. Well, I support. Yes, interesting scene. that is some such scenes they had, and she... I expressed everything to her and said, that... I now understand the Turkish shahs, when they quarrel with one wife, they go into the embrace of another. And it's a pity I wasn't born there. And she like wept, ran to her room. And then I didn't calm her, I gave her an opportunity to collect her thoughts and make a conscious choice. Does she want to continue life with me further? And then several days passed, that is we didn't speak about it. And she later herself started the conversation, that she takes responsibility for this. Forgives me for the infidelity. and in the future... To humble herself, pride, offense and still live with me as a husband. But truth not everything immediately got better between us, because for a long time still she said, that it was unpleasant for her to be near me at the thought that I embraced another woman. That is like expressed, well like jealousy. And at the same time I noticed, that she herself, well like with other men, like smiles at them. And I thought, that she wants to, well like, take revenge on me for this infidelity and started, as it were, to show, as I became hurt and unpleasant at the thought, that someone else would enter into contact with her. And when I already came out of... I started expressing to her about that. That is, I myself started experiencing jealousy. And when I already came out of incarnation, analyzed, that is there, incarnation. I, when I came out of incarnation, analyzed all these feelings of mine. But I want to say, that at that moment in time my spiritual level corresponded to somewhere like 11th-12th, that is like there was a lowering. And the level at which I ended up now, I reached in the last year of life, when I engaged more in spiritual prayer. Also like went to church, prayer. And still these battles of the flesh no longer tempted me so much. Because actually all these sensations, fantasies and... pleasures can lead a person quite far. lead into self-deception, into the illusion of one's own rightness, when he uses his right as a husband. and to his conjugal intimacy begins to show his cruelty, selfishness and humiliates the woman. Through this, myself falling into sin, into lowering of spiritual level, I went through that. That is, I know how flesh tempts us, I know how a person can be tempted by flesh. it can indeed bring him to falling into an abyss. not because it is bad or sinful, but because it is a very strong tool with very strong energies, which if used not in the light of Divine, that is unconditional Love, but simply carnal Love, then precisely carnal Love is inflamed, and Divine recedes into the background. And if it recedes into the background, that means it diminishes. And if it diminishes, that means grows... Fleshly passions, selfishness. and accordingly inattention to one's other half, to one's wife. and unwillingness to take responsibility for her feeling. Well, that is for... Even not for her feeling, but for one's own behavior, which caused certain feelings. That is, such like... Irresponsibility. In the sense, that you got offended at me, and instead of reconciling with you, I'll go and do something to spite you, to show that I am the master. into such a state. Thank you very much for the answer. If I'm not mistaken, it is to you that the definition of the Russian people as a God-bearing people belongs. Do you know that today this formulation is almost always used in such, well, I don't know how to say, derogatory, ironic sense, that, they say, there is no baseness that this very God-bearing people would not be ready to commit for the glory of false ideas of that very God-chosenness. Question. Do you still see the special civilizational role of the Russian people, about which you spoke and wrote during your life? Each people has its own role. Concerning the Russian people, its role I still see in the "Egregore" of the Russian people and communicate with the managers of the "Egregore." That is, we as in contact, in communication. For example, with the Mother of God, the main patron. Precisely of the Russian Egregore. Yes, of the Russian Egregore, as of the Russian state, as precisely a collection of people with Russian identity, so to speak. The task and peculiarity of the Russian people and the task on Earth is precisely in that, to become by example of love for each other and for other peoples a bulwark of peace. so that it becomes an example for the whole Earth. Precisely the task of this people on Earth. But the thing is, that on Earth there exist different circumstances, political, economic, which... with the help of which a test of these qualities of the Russian people is going on on... like temptation, a test of their strength, of the desire of the Russian people to follow. these tasks. Unfortunately, on Earth now such an energetic, political, economic situation has developed. leaves the Russian state in such conditions, when defending its tasks. is necessary, unfortunately, to take up arms. Yes, I understand. He shows like to fight. with those who are against peace. That is, this too is part of the task of the Russian people. But... This is actually not the only way of fulfilling its task, but simply the one, which most corresponds now to... vibrations, that is like to the energetic spiritual vibrations of the majority. Unfortunately, there are such circumstances. which are already built by other egregores on Earth because not only the Russian people lives when responsible people in state power make decisions, very difficult decisions, related to establishing peace, when other players resist this peace. And here the task of the Russian egregore changes a little. in that, that, despite such quite difficult harsh circumstances, into which it is put by other egregores, states, still to continue to be. a beacon of love, peace and tranquility, that is as an example for other peoples. But, naturally, as an individual person, so a community of people, which is an egregore, can in certain periods of its history both fulfill and not fulfill its tasks. In this case I call upon the representatives of the Egregore of the Russian Federation to that, that... it become an example of peace for everyone. Peace love and well-being for all the rest of humanity. That is, he now shows, that Russia is on the path of fulfilling this task. But not always it succeeds. Thank you very much, you have inspired us. Last questions. Tell us, from the height of your now posthumous analysis of your earthly life, could you name for us the three most significant events in your life? Well, the first is, as I already said, described it, the death sentence. That is, it as turned over the understanding of life, because it put me on the verge of death. second. Well, I wouldn't say, a separate event. Well like my period, when I experienced difficult circumstances at hard labor and at the same time read the Gospel and comprehended like communication with God. That is, my internal prayers and communication with God, despite the pain and sufferings of the physical body. That's not exactly a separate event, well, such a period. And the third is... the moment of death of Alyosha my youngest son, when I saw it and when I was on my knees before his dying body. That is, in that moment I myself was spiritually reborn and understood, that all... Everything that we have achieved, all that I achieved in this material life. including my literary fame. can just as easily crumble, as this child's life. And therefore I have nothing to be proud of. Not... Not to... take to heart the praise of critics, or of those people who read me. I must always preserve humility and remember that I am in God's hands. That is, this too such an important moment. Thank you. And three people, most important in your life. Please name. What does important mean? Who substantially influenced you, your worldview. Influenced my worldview? Can I name Christ? Good, one point is Christ. Well, if we are talking about who influenced me. And so every person... and my close one, the one whose name I don't even remember, simply remember, well like face. I always had more memory for images than for names. I even often forgot the names of acquaintances, for which, by the way, they were offended at me. But, nevertheless, equally each of them left a trace in my soul. But I will single out here... two of my wives and my father. I understand, thank you very much. I would like you to tell us a little, how you discarnated, this moment of death, how it passed. Well, it was in the apartment. Was writing, that is shows, a manuscript. Like another story. And, by the way, it was about spiritual. Like... I had already met Lavyov. And we with him in the last time, one could say, the last, maybe, year before that, often talked about spiritual phenomena, including, by the way, and about séance-mediums. Practically the same as is happening now, but they were in a different form then. The thing is, that... At the time when I was incarnated, such people, who communicated with the deceased, so to speak, very often gathered halls, performed in public. Even came from other countries. And a good acquaintance of mine, perhaps you know him, his name is Dmitri, surname Mendeleev. Yes, he was a scientist and, so to speak, critically related, that is from the position of science related to these phenomena. He first, became interested at first, when he learned about mediums and decided to investigate them. And when he started investigating them, he found out that they often use various tricks. to create the appearance of miracles in public, so to speak. Various ropes there, which they tied to legs and pulled, to make a table move. Because of that he became terribly disappointed and started already denouncing and exposing them in print. And at that stage he met several people who supported this movement and started inviting me to such séances. We came, like precisely on the last day of my discarnation I decided to write a story about it, that is about the session, well how to call it, of one such fortune-teller, who in the name of a Spirit through ventriloquism, that is letting a Spirit into herself, predicted the future. There were very many such in Petersburg. They were not restricted by anything, by the way, there was no law restricting their work. And we visited. that her name was such, now he gives me some name like... I even don't know, like Gulkeriya. Gulkeriya, that is like... Some such, like... Not Russian nationality, she was like from some Tatars, or. She lived in Petersburg. We came with friends. maybe a couple of months before my discarnation. And she entered a state when she sees nothing. like hypnosis, or. Like you wave your hands in front of her face, she doesn't see you. And she has such a hoarse voice. And the spirit starts speaking through her. And we started asking our questions, certainly about our future. She looked at me, and from her such a coarse hoarse voice, type you are standing on the threshold of death. I smiled to myself and thought, well by his appearance it's noticeable, because I was already ill. Well, it's not hard to predict the fate of a sick person. That is like thought to myself, that you are standing on the threshold of death. And immediately I smiled to myself, that, well yes, on the threshold, that's not specific, when. One could say tomorrow, one could say in a year, and still it will come true. Well, I think, what masters, that is as if at the same time predicted and at the same time not. That is, in any case she will be right. Because on the threshold is a very elastic concept. Well, that is as I laughed to myself and thought, that like a story I will write about visiting. this fortune-teller, well, in such artistic form. I like will call it... like... now he tells me the title, like Miracle of Miracles. Or like... or there expectation of a miracle, something there connected with a miracle. And when I sat down to write the manuscript, I didn't finish it, that is shows, as... there was thinking over the plot, I had such a serious approach even to small stories, I didn't do it all in one day. That is, I there thought over the plot, what who is wearing, in what room we are in. I started composing a plan. of this work, that is there the main characters, what their names are, there and so on. And when I started already writing like a draft on that day... I felt, shows a sharp deterioration of well-being. the whole day I had very great weakness and a headache. I often had that, I didn't pay particular attention. at that stone Vera arrived. That's my sister. She says something to me about inheritance, that the parents' inheritance needs to be divided somehow, that she offers me her part, to transfer to her, there she needs it. Well, something she started talking about material affairs. And I told her, well we'll talk later, now I'm not well. Anya says, that husband is unwell, come later. She says I will come there every time. She lived in another place. Let's decide this question now. And I say, well, I'm not well there, and left. Then the children came in to me. That is shows like a boy. and a girl. I sat at the table and shows, that became ill, started to choke and started coughing. that is before that I already had coughing with blood. But then it stopped. 2-3 days before that. And then it started again. And when already I felt, that I can no longer stop this coughing, I have like blood shows. And I understood, that the thought came to me, that this is already the last day. And I called my wife and said, that we need to call a priest for confession, communion. And said, that I will soon depart to God. I felt it. Then the priest came, I already remember poorly, but shows as foggy all his words. But I remember, that I said to Anya and the children, that I love them. I was not afraid. I felt, that my time had come. Truth, after discarnation it turned out that I had appointed myself a term of 65 years. I didn't live to it. a little over 5 years. But still I fulfilled my purpose, therefore in that moment my spirit and my mentor-angels decided to take me out precisely at that moment, as I... would not have done anything significant anymore in my incarnation, but because of my illness had a risk of losing that level, which at that moment in time I had reached. That is, despite not living my term, I consider, that I fulfilled my purpose, the more so my plan was precisely the 23rd level. And after I reconciled with my death, I practically no longer felt the pain. which constantly drilled my chest over many years. I had chronic pains when breathing. Throat hurts and chest hurts. As with bronchitis it happens. And I felt, that I was simply losing contact with the body. I no longer felt the bed on which I was lying. And opening my eyes, I no longer saw objects around, but I felt the presence of my wife and children. And they all dissolved in such like white fog. Like such light. But I understood, that I lost my sight. But still like hearing remained, and I felt, like sobbing. But I could no longer move my tongue, because I didn't feel it. But I had absolutely no fear, I mentally said, Jesus Christ, preserve my children, my wife, I entrust them to you. and I felt, I dissolve them. that is in such like light. And that like expansion, like, I no longer felt the body, I felt that it's like a sphere. And at that moment like a meeting occurred, two figures appeared before me such shining. But I also had light, that is our light mixed. And they to me... Well that is I caught their conversation, but it was not in words, but in understanding, meanings. They said, that we greet you. Our brother there, angel, that is I understood, that I reached angelic level, well, there, 23rd. That is, they didn't name it 23rd, they called me, well, as an Archon. That is, that I as if even higher, than they. I'm coming, simply they came to help me, support me during the period of separation from the body. And one of them said, all. the thread of life is severed, and I felt, that I am in freedom, that is shows, as flies upward. And after that I... thought, need to support my family, wanted to be in the house again, but already saw them simply as images. And after it's very hard to judge time, as there are no clocks, so to speak. There sun, moon. You simply orient approximately, that several days passed. But that's like a state without time. And then I felt movement upward and saw, as before me the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven open, that is such like a portal, like such an arch I see. And from there an even brighter light than mine. And that this light penetrates me, and I unite with... God, but that was union with the Spirit. That is, that was union with the Higher Self, according to your technology, according to Irina's terminology, this is union with the Spirit, and after that I... Well, yes, understood. Memories began to appear, who I was in past incarnations, because before that I had no understanding of past life. And I then started analyzing my incarnation. Archangel Michael descended to me, Jesus Christ descended to me. And we started analyzing my incarnations, at what levels I was. that is I there descended quite low in my incarnation. Some were such periods of despondency, when I there generally corresponded to the fifth level. Well, in the end, I corresponded for a long time, by the way, to the sixteenth level. But literally in the last year and a half I rose to. 23rd so dear friends now I want to address you With my last incarnation I was very different, I was at different spiritual levels. Therefore I know, that my works are read, printed and are now read. Therefore reading something, including I wrote as a diary, that is my reflections, that is already no characters described, but described my personal experiences and thoughts. That is like kept, like I already said, on Esler I lived in a woman's body, and this habit, although subconscious, influenced me. And I simply made it public for everyone. It was absolutely frank diary. And there one can read my different thoughts and feelings, including far from the brightest. But I emphasize, that in my life I was at different spiritual levels. And each time I wrote, being in the state of certain vibrations. My final incarnation, is the 23rd level, but I reached it shortly. before the death of the body. Dear Fyodor Mikhailovich, thank you very much, you came. We send you the light of our love. Yes. And let's thank Irina for this phenomenal session of the Cassiopeia community. We will thank each other for gathering here. Thank you very much. Until new meetings.
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