Cassiopeia project - unofficial blog : Project Cassiopeia - Channeling Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall, Moscow

https://brusov-hall.ru/dostoevsky_1308

https://t.me/cassiopeia_center/5860

Project “Cassiopeia” - Mediumship session with the spirit of Fyodor Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall - Moscow - 08/13/2025 - Presenter Igor Lebedev

ChatGPT - Here’s a detailed summary of the main themes and insights from Dostoevsky’s “spirit” during the session:

1. Spiritual Status

Claims to be at the 23rd spiritual level, an arhat angel.
Describes his role as a guardian of the literary egregor within the larger egregor of art.
Works alongside spirits like Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and Pushkin (though Pushkin is incarnated now, he rarely intervenes).

2. Mission of His Earthly Life

His primary task: develop patience, humility, endurance through suffering and difficulties.
Literary work was a tool for these lessons, not the ultimate goal.
He believes he fulfilled his destiny and advanced spiritually.

3. Past Incarnations

Over 3,300 incarnations in this Manvantara, with 102 on Earth.
Highlights include:
- Philosopher Eudoxus (5th c. BC, Rhodes).
- Daughter of Pontius Pilate.
- Yaroslav, son of Vladimir the Red Sun (Kievan Rus).
- Catholic monk Hippolytus (Italy, 15th c.).
- A short-lived Japanese emperor (13th c.).
- A school director on the planet Esler before reincarnating as Dostoevsky.

4. Family, Health, and Epilepsy

Father: strict but deeply kind, a devout doctor who modeled service; Dostoevsky emulated him by healing souls through writing.
Epilepsy traced to tuberculosis infection from his mother during pregnancy; damage created seizure activity triggered by stress.
Saw this as ancestral karma—a burden to cultivate humility and patience.
Illness made him afraid of death, madness, lethargic sleep.

5. Views on Suicide

Wrote about suicide to mirror readers’ struggles, hoping to prevent despair by showing characters’ missed chances.
Emphasized: “Never give up, there is always another way.”

6. Gambling Addiction

Motivated by desire to repay debts and help others.
Initial big win convinced him God’s grace would provide, but continued losses showed him it was sin leading to greed and egoism.
Quit through prayer, mentorship of Archangel Michael, and support of his wife Anna.

7. Hardships with Money

Constant shortages were part of his spiritual training—without poverty, he says, he couldn’t have developed humility.
Helped many financially, often exploited by swindlers, but refused to deny beggars aid.

8. Faith and the Bible

Deeply shaped by the Gospel given to him en route to Siberian penal labor.
Reading it in prison preserved his dignity and faith: “The Gospel was my talisman, my channel to Christ.”
Had several experiences of “attaining God”—moments of overwhelming divine presence and joy.

9. Political Involvement and Exile

Youthful enthusiasm for radical socialist circles led to his arrest for reading Belinsky’s banned letter.
Sentenced to death, reprieved at the last second — an epiphany: life is God’s gift, not the state’s.
Siberian penal labor taught him true humility and reliance on God.

10. Relations with Tolstoy

Their meeting in 1878 was planned spiritually; Dostoevsky was meant to be Tolstoy’s mentor.
Fate intervened — they were in the same hall but never introduced. He explains this as a case where incarnation “forgot” pre-life agreements.

11. Accusations and Scandals

Addressed Strakhov’s posthumous accusations of pedophilia: denied them, explained he had paternal affection for children; Strakhov projected his own shadows.
On Stavrogin’s child rape confession (Demons): defended it as essential to character psychology, not autobiography. Censorship removed it.

12. Creative Process

Often “astrally immersed” himself in the minds of his characters (e.g. Raskolnikov’s murder, Stavrogin’s depravity).
Saw writing as a mix of personal imagination and spiritual inspiration from his guides.

13. Personal Life and Women

Strong sexual temperament, visited brothels when young.
First wife Maria: intellectual, sharp, but ill (tuberculosis).
Second wife Anna: organized, soft, “like an angel,” helped him overcome gambling and chaos.
Deaths of his children (esp. Alexei at age 3) devastated him; Elder Ambrose of Optina consoled him, teaching trust in God’s will.

14. Main Themes

Life = trial by suffering, chosen to purify and humble the soul.
Art = healing: literature should heal like medicine, showing human struggle and redemption.
Faith = survival: belief in God sustained him more than politics, money, or pleasure.

Here are 25 rules of life according to Dostoevsky’s spirit (from the Cassiopeia session, distilled into practical maxims, with his own imagery and themes woven in):

25 Rules of Life — Fyodor Dostoevsky (spirit)

Choose your trials consciously. Every soul selects parents, family, and hardships in order to cultivate patience, humility, and strength.
Suffering refines the heart. Illness, poverty, humiliation — they are not punishments, but instruments of purification.
Endure with humility. Do not curse your fate. Bear it, and your spirit will ascend.
Heal with your gift. Whether doctor, teacher, or writer, see your work as medicine for others.
Serve with words. A story can be as healing as bread to the hungry.
Fear of death is a mask. Behind all earthly fears lies the one root — fear of death. Learn to face it, and the others will vanish.
Do not flee despair with suicide. There are always unseen exits; despair blinds you to them.
Gambling is an illusion. The dice, the cards, the wheel — they whisper greed. They never give; they only devour the soul.
Poverty teaches humility. Wealth inflates pride; lack strips you down to essentials and shows you who you are.
Never deny the poor. If a beggar asks, give. Do not demand proof. To mistrust sorrow is to wound the soul.
Art belongs to the Spirit. The writer, the painter, the composer are not owners of ideas; they are channels.
Characters live within you. To write truth, become each soul — the murderer, the saint, the child. Feel what they feel.
Remember the last minute. At the scaffold, with death’s muzzle to your chest, life reveals its infinite value. Live as if each minute could be your last.
Prison is a teacher. In chains you learn what freedom of the soul means. No outer cage can bind the inner man.
The Gospel is bread. In darkness, hunger, and despair, scripture nourishes the spirit more than food.
God is here, not far. Attaining God is not abstraction; it is the certainty that He gazes at you, surrounds you, loves you.
Do not confuse the Church with God. Priests may falter, institutions may corrupt, but faith transcends their flaws.
Children are angels on earth. Their deaths wound like fire, but they return swiftly to God’s arms. Trust this.
Beware false friends. The critic who flatters you may later slander you. Hold fast to truth, not reputation.
Do not project evil. Many who accuse others reveal their own shadow. Look inward before condemning.
Accept that not all plans are fulfilled. Even pre-life agreements may fail in incarnation. Do what you can with the choices you have.
Sexuality is fire. Left unchecked it consumes; harnessed with love, it warms and creates.
Marriage can save. A good partner can rescue you from ruin, ground you, and remind you of grace.
Every loss hides mercy. Death, failure, betrayal — each strips you of illusions so you may rely only on God.
Life’s task is not success but ascent. Fame, wealth, achievement vanish. Only the growth of your soul remains eternal.

https://riverside.com/transcription auto transcripted, Google translated from Russian -

I now invite to the stage a universal contactee, a leader project “Cassiopeia” - Irina Podzorova!

Good evening, hello, dear friends! I greet everyone, my name is Irina Podzorova, I am a contactee with extraterrestrial civilizations, with subtle-material civilizations and with the spiritual world. This is not our first session, we have another one here. We continue the cycle of communication with the spirits of famous people, in particular, writers. And today... I invited, I invited through my curators, a spirit who was in his last incarnation, known as Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, many know him, his works are included in the school curriculum, and I have read and studied them, including myself, and of course, each of you, I think. Today he is already here. He welcomes everyone, thanks for the invitation and is ready to answer your questions. He nods his head and says, "Thank you." If you allow me, let's get straight to the point, let's start asking questions. Yes, of course. Our first block is traditional, like this karmic We are, of course, very interested in what spiritual level you are currently at. I am currently at the 23rd spiritual level. I am also an angel. Let's applaud Fyodor Mikhailovich's life, what a successful one it must have been if he ended up at the angelic level. Can you tell us more about what you do at this level? I am not incarnate right now, but I am already preparing for the next incarnation, and I am responsible for this at the moment. On earth, I am an arhat angel. I am one of the patrons and guardians of the egregor of writers. There is one of the departments of the egregor of art. On a global scale. Yes. Who are your colleagues that we know from this egregor? Anton Tikhov Well, Leo Tolstoy. That is, yes, he is showing me now. Leo Tolstoy. And... So, who is this? Shakespeare And Pushkin? Since he's currently incarnate, his attention is directed more toward his incarnation. Although he also helps convey information and, as it were, provide inspiration. He does this rather rarely, as he's busy with his incarnation. Tell me, please, you listed some of the spirits known to us from their earthly lives. As far as I understand, they all occupy different levels in the spiritual world. And how do you meet at meetings, and who descends to whom, or doesn't the English level have such a strict division? A strict division. The one who... no, we don't emit. We direct our phantoms to the egregor, that is, from the world of disembodied spirits, we send our phantoms to the egregor, to one of the egregors of the earthly noosphere He is located in astral world. The Australian world is a borderline between the world of disembodied spirits, where we are located, and the material world. peace And so we send our phantoms from every level. How do you assess the state of literature here on Earth today? There are so many new works, so many new genres, very interesting ones. And right now, literature is flourishing, not only in printed form, in books, but also electronically. There are so many new authors, and something like "Rassvet" shows that a lot of people are writing now. Of course, genres have emerged, ones that were unknown when I was incarnated. For example, flourishing now. Yes, detective stories and science fiction, for example, have reached a great flourishing now. When I was incarnated, this was very rare. That is, it was only just beginning to develop. We had more like... Such as novels about life. Well, there were mystical novels, but they weren't fantasy or detective stories, or as they are also called... drama, there are like love stories in the modern sense of these words. That is, now the egregor of literature, as I will call it, that is, it is a sub-egregor of art. It... receiving... is experiencing rapid development. Can you suggest any contemporary authors you'd recommend? I recommend everyone read a wide variety of literature, because literary taste isn't formed by reading specific authors, but by reading a wide variety of literature and comparing them with each other. Do you have contacts among writers? Yes. And how do you interact with them? Mentally. I send them ideas. Ideas? Well, I see. thought forms such. Tell me, from what level did you incarnate as Fyodor Mikhailovich? From the 20th. So, it turns out you were an angel before that, Fyodor Mikhailovich? Yes. I just want to clarify. I was born not in November, but in October, at the end of October. How much did this change happen in our country? He speaks according to the old style. I was surprised that he was born in November. Things have changed for us now after the revolution. He knows what has changed. It was said that he was born on a certain date. But he was born on a different date. I apologize, we will correct it and write it down. He was born on October 30th. This is important because some people might want to look at my numerological characteristics. That is, those that... Yes, those that depend on the numbers of the date of birth. And about the importance numerological characteristics you have already learned in the spiritual world or you are in the spiritual world during life. And what could be the importance of these characteristics? By them, one can recognize characteristics karmic crush. The characteristics and abilities of the spirit and its tasks. Since we have not prepared now, we numerological There is no calculation, but we have the happy opportunity to ask you directly. What were your spiritual tasks for the incarnation? My main spiritual task for this incarnation, by the way, was to develop in myself diligence, patience and humility, and the experience of overcoming various difficulties. This, as opposed to art, was my first task, but the development of such qualities in myself. Human, not connected with literary activity. Human. But literary activity was also included in the obligatory set of goals and objectives in life, wasn’t it? It is... a tool for developing my patience, humility and overcoming difficulties. That there were many difficulties on the path of creating literary works and their publication and criticism that I encountered. And therefore, I developed patience, the ability to endure difficulties and not turn away from the path in the face of obstacles of fate. Well, I suppose you succeeded in this? Yes, I fulfilled my destiny and raised my spiritual level. It is so nice to hear it. Fyodor Mikhailovich, tell me, can you give us your most significant incarnations in the past? I had everything in this Manvantara , that is, in the era of the existence of the material universe, I have had 3,306 incarnations. I think that's more than average. Well, yes, for example, I have fewer. And you really love... adventures, you love to incarnate and experiment. That is, he has many incarnations. Yes, he says that there are spirits in more quantity, actually. But yes, if you look at Earth, those who incarnate on Earth have somewhere between 200 and 1000 incarnations. On average, again, we have different ranges. And I have 3,306 in incarnations. Well, including, strictly speaking, the most recent ones. Of these, I was incarnated on Earth 102 times. But on Earth, in a dense body, I was incarnated 36 times. 36 times were you a human on Earth? Can you give us any? I will name those that you can recognize, since for me, for example, there was an important incarnation that you probably don’t know. It was as one of the Catholic monks. Who was still... He shows it as the very beginning, like the 15th century. He is unknown to you. And in what country? In Italy. In Italy. Yes. Yes, he is unknown to you. His name was not preserved in the annals. At least, you will not find it. For me, it was a very significant incarnation. There I... for a very long time purified my spiritual heart. Well, okay, I will name famous incarnations in the sense that why famous, well, which you can find. For example, I was incarnated... Dad, Petak, who is this? Go out with such a figure as Ponti Pilate. Oh. No, I wasn't crying into him. Okay, fine. We know the figure Ponti Pilate. He had a daughter. I was incarnated by the name... Well, I hear it as Pippi. Pippi. Through my perception, because he speaks, the contactee doesn't speak the language of that time, he hears it as in Russian, in Russian. I was incarnated into her. Then I was incarnated. Before that, I was incarnated in the territory of G. Decapolis. Decapolis. Decapolis is where the island of Rhodes is now. The capital was there. It was the fifth century BC. A philosopher and astronomer named Eudoxus was incarnated there. It was an entire philosophical and astronomical school. It was the fifth century BC. Yes, fine. Then I was incarnated... as I said, the daughter of Antipelota. And then I was incarnated into one of the emperors of Japan in the 13th century. Yes, but I had a short incarnation there, showing how I died in some kind of battle. And then I went back a little, again along the timeline, and incarnated in the 10th century, after the birth of Christ, on Russian territory. On the territory of the Russian principality, Kievan Rus, or more precisely, as one of the sons of Vladimir Svyatoslavevich, whom you know as Vladimir Krasnoe Solnyshko. I was his third son, named Yaroslav. And who was your mother in this incarnation? In which one? Well, your son... Rogneda of some kind. I know who Rogneda is. And then... Well, that wasn't my previous incarnation. I understand. And then, after Yaroslav, I lowered my spiritual sadness, since there was a struggle between brothers there. It's just that now I'll focus more on the memory of my past incarnation. In order to tell the details about that, it is necessary to highlight a different phantom. And with a different memory, well, like a different personality. Then I would have incarnated, as I already said, to this monk. His name was like... Well, I hear it like Hippolytus. Like the name Hippolytus. And there I purified my karma, prayers, repentance, moaning, like asceticism. There I raised my level to... 18 and then I incarnated on the planet Esler. This was my previous incarnation before the incarnation of the body of Phaedrus. I incarnated on the planet Esler in a female body. And there I held a position, when I incarnated, I grew up. This woman is showing me on the planet. Isler, she held the position of director of the school there, which developed children's education program. And already in this incarnation, I achieved, as a spirit, level 20 and paid the fedalia into the body, Fyodor. Thank you very much. Now, please resolve a few questions related to your childhood and your parents. Good. You yourself called your childhood happy and carefree. But upon closer examination of the memories of your family members, it seems that your father was a human being. despotic disposition, hot-tempered, intolerant. Not to mention that it was your father who tried to push you off your predestined path and sent you... to the engineering corps instead of supporting your literary interests. In short, the question is. Well, when you incarnated, you obviously understood, among other things, what qualities and characteristics your parents would have. Why did you agree to such a father? Well, what qualities were you supposed to develop for yourself with the help of such a parental figure? Yes, indeed, like all spirits, I chose my father and mother and the entire family, the ancestral Gregor. I chose him, by the way, I took on some ancestral karma there, connected again with my task, my personal task: to develop, to cultivate patience, humility, and the ability to overcome difficulties. As for my dad, in fact, deep down, in his heart, he was a very kind person. Initially, when I was little, he spent a lot of time with me and other children. He loved my mother very much. He was a doctor, he graduated the same way. Well, yes, he practically finished his training to become a priest, since he himself was the son of a priest. And he was a very religious man. He believed in Jesus Christ, and he instilled faith in me. Well, along with my mother. But more than anyone else, he instilled faith in me. He taught me to pray, he taught me to thank God, he taught me to trust Him, and he was an example of masculine perseverance, endurance, self-confidence, because and here's how selflessness, because he worked as a doctor in a hospital and often treated patients from very poor backgrounds who couldn't pay for their treatment, and despite this, you could say, he spent days at work, rarely sleeping there. He ate whatever he could, just to see more people. He even sacrificed his weekends, time with his family. Yes, I want to say that my mother didn't always like it. She sometimes told him that he spent too much time at work. But he told her that he couldn't do otherwise, that everyone needed to be helped, and this... at my tender, young age, this was such an example of service to people that I took into my personal baggage so that later... I myself could be the same, he, although not a doctor of the physical body. But a writer is often a healer of human souls. And after all, my level of incarnations was... the 20th, that's an angel, a healer. And I decided to follow my father's example and heal people with words. That is, to heal their souls, showing them through my works how people experience various troubles, how they get out of them, what happens to them. That is, I wrote my works not only for money, although that too. But most of all, precisely to help people heal themselves with the help of words. And my father was an example of this fortitude and hard work, diligence. As for his strictness, yes, he was quite strict, but he was fair For example, in our house, despite the pranks of the younger children, that is, my brothers and sisters, no one was taken for rule Physical punishment. As was the custom in many other families, even of higher social classes. He never raised a hand against us. He never raised a hand against our mother. The only thing was, when... He began to experience trials. After moving, he now describes it as being in the village. We decided, he and my mother decided to be closer to nature. And having saved up money from his work as a doctor, he acquired an estate with peasants. I remind you that at that time there were serfs. So, to put it simply, he acquired an estate with people, together with them. Yes, people were sold back then. And he began to own it. That is, he became its owner. But without experience working with them in this way, he began to incur losses. That is, he couldn't organize... the operation of this estate so that it would bring in a profit. Then there were crop failures, these serfs hid their... production of animal and plant products from him. He didn't know how to check all this. You could say they were deceiving him. And this, among other things, led to his character starting to deteriorate. I remember that when I was, well, about 10 or 11 years old, we had this big fire. And he began to suspect arson of these peasants, but nothing was proven. And after that, he accumulated such a debt, a huge financial debt. And then she got sick, very sick, and before that, she had had an illness called tuberculosis But because of all this stress, she... His illness worsened, she took to her bed. And he was worried about her. He was worried about his estate, about us, like about his children. And this made him irritable and sometimes he started buying himself vodka. To relieve stress. But he still fought with himself, fought with his illness and... Even if he yelled at someone, he later asked for forgiveness. So I don't have any hard feelings or complaints against my father specifically. He felt especially bad after my mother's death, because he loved her very much. And he took her death very hard, literally everything irritated him. There is this kind of depression that he shows to me, even though nothing makes him happy. He even gave up going to church and praying. It's as if he was offended at God for not saving his beloved. That's how it felt. Eeeeee... He also died because of a conflict with his peasants, he had a fight with them. And his heart, so to speak, couldn't take it. That is, it was a scandal because they had begun to sow the seeds incorrectly, as if they were passively spreading the message. He yelled at them, in his clouded state of mind. And they, accordingly, started yelling at him and insulting him. And he couldn't take it. His heart began to fail. So, it wasn't murder, but what's called a publicity blow? Unless we call it moral murder, because they insulted him there, showing how rudely they responded. According to one version, upon receiving news of your father's death, you suffered your first epileptic seizure. I already recognized the cause in the spiritual world. Yes, tell us. The thing is, I already spoke about the ancestral karma that I took upon myself to develop patience and humility. Part of this ancestral karma was that I chose to incarnate through my parents, well, specifically through my mother, who already had this disease, tuberculosis. And when my body was forming in her womb, as you call it, tuberculosis bacteria penetrated me and damaged my brain. That is, it shows, like, a congenital form. And throughout my childhood, I was like that, that is, weak, like constantly coughing. Well, it was like tuberculosis, but it was in a chronic form, that is, it didn't seriously damage it. Yes, that is, my lungs, well, even then, my immune system fought back, preserved them. But as for the brain, there was a focus of damage there, like this. tuberculosis Bacteria in the brain matter. And because of this, a focus of seizure activity arose, which, under stress... I first learned of my mother's death. I was already stressed out by then. Literally immediately, my brother and I learned of the death... or rather, the murder of our beloved writer Alexander Pushkin. We were very worried because all this overlapped. And even then, I had... when I didn't understand what was around me was real or not, and I began to hear voices, like noises, calling me. Eeeee... Already in the spiritual world, I realized that due to the structure of my brain, I simply began to hear the voices of subtle beings. And then, during the next stressful period, all this resulted in me having a seizure. That is, it shows how this brain damage was perceived during incarnation due to this mother's infection, who later died of tuberculosis. And the reason why I took on this body, I already understood in the spiritual world, firstly, in order to... and by accepting my body and my illness, also develop patience. That was my first task. And my second task was to direct my energy as a guardian angel to healing the body. And this was also fulfilled in the sense that my lungs did not collapse for so long, even though these bacteria lived in them. Yes, I understand. He's just showing me in images now that he was directing, well, how his higher self, as we call it, he was also in the spiritual world, that is, a part of him, was directing energy to him that temporarily suppressed these bacteria that ultimately destroyed him. But this didn't happen there at five, not at ten years old, that is, he could have died in childhood, or in adolescence. But because of his my neck It sent energy, it just shows me in an image, these bacteria were suppressed. And as for the epilepsy, it was a consequence of the acquired ancestral infection. And it was only activated due to the stress associated with the death of loved ones. That is, it was like the signal in the brain began to flow incorrectly. That is, this stress, the sadness from separation... And with my mother, and after Pushkin's death, and then with my father. And plus this brewing in the brain, like... Well, like cysts, or something. tuberculosis , which was formed, congenital. And all this overlapped and arose from the disease. I understand. Thank you very much. In many of your works, one way or another, the plot of suicide is present. Well, that's meek aya of course, and Ippolit in the idiot, and Kirillov and Svidrigailova V B Esakh. You have an essay, "Two Suicides," where you examined the deaths of two girls. In short, you could say you studied the psychology of suicide with particular passion, trying to get to the bottom of it. The question is, why such attention to the issue of suicide? I wanted to help those who will read these works understand themselves by reading the experiences of those characters who came to this conclusion. Who came to this suicide, I wanted to show that... I understand their experiences. And it shows me "yes." There were always exits next to these characters that they did not take advantage of. And I wanted to show with these works that you should never give up, that you should never leave life, because I showed that they did not take advantage of this. These chances, although they could have. Well, yes, that is, I described the experiences of these people, again with the goal of healing, so that people who will read this will recognize themselves in it. And it helped them see themselves in this way, like a mirror. And with this they were able to escape from the spiritual pit into which they had plunged themselves. If only a technique. In action, you often felt like you were dying, and you, like Gogol, were afraid of falling into lethargic sleep and even left suicide notes with instructions that if you suddenly die, then before burial, be sure to check whether you are really dead. The question is, where does this fear of early death and this come from? lethargic sleep? I had this fear too, I had other fears, for example, I was afraid of the dark, afraid of going crazy. This was because of my states, when I felt bad and didn’t know if I would wake up tomorrow. And so my instinct for self-preservation, it came into an excited state and sent me fears of death. In fact, my greatest fear at that time was the fear of death, which was caused by my poor health, my weak body. I already told you why this was, for ancestral reasons, ancestral karma. And I experienced a variety of fears, which came in different forms, but underneath them was still the same fear of death. And a little... Well, here I’ll show you how was amazed , I overcame them as life went on. That is, this was in childhood, in adolescence, and as life went on, I overcame these fears. That is, I no longer had them. I understand. Thank you very much. I can't help but ask you about ludomania, an irresistible passion for gambling, which... As we know, you suffered for a long time, but, by the way, miraculously, managed to get rid of it. The question is: how did it appear, what was the cause, and how did you manage to get rid of this passion? I was looking for a way to acquire a lot of money at once, firstly, to pay off my debts, and secondly, to help my relatives and the many people who wrote to me. The thing is, I not only pursued literary work, I also worked as a publisher of a magazine, even a number of magazines, and there was a column where people wrote to me personally. And they often asked me for help, and also often came to my apartment, that's where I lived, where I rented. People often came and told me about their hardships. That is, he was like a patron, a sponsor. It shows how he gave them money, gave them food, gave them things. Because I considered it my duty to help, including financially, and not just relatives. And this required, naturally, a lot of money. After all, the more you help people materially, the more fame you spread. And the more people come to you, as... generous A moneybag. Which, unfortunately, I wasn't at the time, since I wasn't yet so famous that I'd be given huge royalties. Moreover, literary critics often hounded me because they didn't like everything about my works. And publishers, they pay attention to criticism too and can lower my fees because of it. Future works. Let's say we don't know how this will sell. After all, you get criticized. But nevertheless, I had already taken on a duty, an obligation to help people. And my fame was spreading both in St. Petersburg and in the surrounding areas, and complete strangers often approached me. I wanted to help people with illnesses, to give money for treatment, for food. But I couldn't refuse them, because they were counting on me. And if I helped one, with what wording, like, how will I justify refusing another? Then they are no longer equal to me, it turns out. And I was looking for an opportunity to work for everyone at once. And when I was... I decided... I had a fee for my works. I decided to go, well, like around Europe. Well, to take a trip. To see if it's as good there as... My friends, who belong to the Western camp They really talked about the advantages of Western countries, which are more developed than Russia. I went there, and it really is very beautiful, like the restaurants and the hall. Again, beautiful for whom? For rich, wealthy gentlemen. For oppressed class, well, that's how it is, these poor peasants, life there was also soft, even in some ways even worse than ours. And there I saw a casino. And they were there, like someone was playing cards, and they placed different bets. Whoever wins, then loses. And a friend of mine, or rather, as a friend, even an acquaintance, invited me to one of these casinos. I played a few times, I won a large sum. Well, there he bet. He shows how he spins the roulette wheel and here he bets on some ball. I got the idea to bet there. I bet and won something like, maybe 10 thousand marks. It was a huge sum. In those days, you could buy a house in Europe. Well, I paid off some of my debts, put some aside to help people, and then decided on this easy path. If I take some of this money and start playing again, then the thought will again pass, actually, where to bet. And again, this lucky arrow will point to me as the winner. And I waited for this lucky arrow Almost 10 years. Then I realized it was all an illusion, when I'd already lost a lot, when I'd already started borrowing money from friends, when I'd already started selling my clothes and even pawning my wedding ring for my wife's. I realized it was a sin, as a sinful activity. This, first of all, develops egai. That is, first of all, I prayed to God. I asked for me to win again to pay off my debts. And I had this thought that I wouldn't send you any more winnings, but something was corrupting you. It was developing selfishness, greed, and a love of money in you. And you didn't understand my grace when you won the first time. You started to fall into love of money , greed, and straying from your purpose. Therefore, you won't win anything anymore. You can only lose the rest of what you have. Well, this thought occurred to me, and I cried bitterly. I'll tell you how I was alone. Then I tried to play a few more times, but I had absolutely no luck. And even the guy next to me was playing, even those who were beginners, they won. But I didn't. And I realized that one day my eyes were opened. I said to myself, well, what am I doing? Already in the spiritual world, I realized that this was an appeal from my guardian angel, from my mentors. Among my mentors was Archangel Michael. And my higher self, and of course, my wife supported me, well, my second wife supported me in this. That is, she never reproached me, she only said that... Yes, she didn't reproach me, but she said that... so that I could live better there with my own labor, and that it would be better for me to distribute my income so that I had enough of what I had, and so that I would stop, well, it's better to stop chasing these ghosts, because you lose more. And I showed her, that is, even after the first win, I had even smaller wins. I told her that I had already won 100 francs. 200 francs. And she said, well, I have it all written down in my notebook, you lost much more. You took this money and lost it again. And she said, it hurts me to look at you, the way you behaved you lead. Because I was very upset later that I would show up without a penny in my pocket, that then... my friends would just show up at the hotel and even pay the hotelier, the hotel owner, because I even owed money for the room. It was all very painful for me to see, and in the end I decided that I would never touch any of these things again, cards, roulette,... any objects that are used in gambling. Because it's a deception, it's an illusion. It's the creation of an image that leads a person into love of money , and he loses it, like his mind. He no longer sees anything, hears nothing, and only wants to win. But in reality, he loses everything. That is, they show that he has had such a realization. I understand, thank you. That's what I was thinking about. Looking at your life, I can't shake the feeling that you've had a complicated relationship with money in general, despite the winnings you told us about, well, in general, you were always terribly short of money. And it's not just that money was being handed out, so to speak, out of the goodness of your heart, to a large number of people, left and right. Moreover, as I understand it, there were quite a few swindlers and crooks who took advantage. She didn't pay attention to this. Yes, that is, I didn't check. If, for example, they told me that my child was sick, I ask for treatment, there, there were even cries, there, the woman, she could even walk there, walk without the child, and I didn't ask her to show any documents or anything, I just gave her food. I thought it was indecent. Not to believe a person in their grief. Yeah, well, besides these episodes, well, I mean, we know that your own day pike stole, well, your money was stolen all the time, and as you yourself said, the royalties were yours... Yes, and the publishers underpaid, that is, this is where things happened. Well, can we say that your connection with the financial egregor That somehow the money just wasn't coming into my hands? Okay, I wonder. If this is really, well, a fair statement... Why are you saying that? The thing is, this is also part of my plan, which I set up in the spiritual world to develop patience, humility, and hard work. If I had a lot of money, which I used and accumulated for myself, it would be difficult for me to cultivate patience and humility, since on the contrary, it would be a source of pride. Excellent answer. Thank you very much, dear friends. For those who don't have enough money, listen to this answer. Tell me, please, you mentioned your friends who, during difficult times for you, paid off your hotel bills, paid off your debts, in particular, priest Yanyshev, Wiesbaden paid your debts. And who was that person and did you even know him? Yes, but not only him. That is, there were several people there. They show me several people who were like... Some of them were known through literature. Some were just friends, and they found out about it. There, from me or from my wife, well, that is, it was no secret. And they came to me and asked how you were doing. Well, with me, with my wife. And, he says, there, I there, just there, I haven't paid for the hotel for a week, they already want to evict me and sue me. And, accordingly, they went and paid my debt. And I changed so much and told them that I would definitely pay them back. I felt very uncomfortable. And... They didn't demand anything, they just said that... Well, how could they not reproach you, but they also said that you need to do something, how to stop playing. And now it shows priest , said that I will pray for you, otherwise you will be overcome without love of money And when I had any money, I still tried to give it to them. Another thing is that I could only give it to some people after several years. That is, I wouldn’t like it if I owed something. That they owed me, that’s fine. I myself wouldn’t like it if I owed something. Thank you. Another dramatic episode in your life is connected with money. In penal servitude, prisoners tried to poison you in order to get hold of the money they sent you in a letter in an envelope. Well, such cases were common there, and people were killed for money, and even for sturdier clothes than their neighbors. Okay, good. Why weren’t you killed? God save you. G There's some story about a dog that came and ate poisoned food, letting you know it was poisoned, and you didn't... Yes, I gave it to her. He shows how he gave her some of his food, and she got sick. Then I realized, yes. In general, he shows that it was God's will. It's a circumstance that I can't outlive. ate from incarnations God. Actually, you said that Archangel Michael was... praying, communicating with Jesus through prayer, and Jesus already became my curator. Well, as a curator, a spirit who guided me, a mentor. Archangel Michael literally guided me from childhood, that is, he supervised me. Thanks to memories. Sophia's Kovalevskaya, we know about the moment when you experienced a personal epiphany. It happened after your hard labor in the settlement, when a friend came to visit you. atheist You chatted with him all night, and in the morning the bells rang. These are your words. I truly have attained God and become imbued with Him. He shows me that this has happened to me many times. Many times. What does it mean, "attaining God," and what does it mean to be "imbued"? Well, it's some kind of communication. What kind of state is this? Okay, let me try to explain it in words now. It's when you have a clear realization that God isn't just somewhere, that He is right next to you and looking at you. And you feel His gaze with your whole soul, that is, it shows how He surrounds you. And you don't see it with your eyes, and you don't understand it with your mind, but you comprehend it with your heart. That is, it simply becomes clear to you. And this is accompanied by such a surge of joy, love, and a kind of gratitude for what is. And at that moment, you're even ready to die and aren't afraid of anything. Even if your body suffers, your spirit rejoices. Beautiful words. Tell me, is this the Gospel that your wife gave you on the way to hard labor? Fonvizin , did it play any important role in your movement toward God? Well, I've read the Bible before, but specifically... while I was there. We worked there in prison, that is, as the settings show, like building a building, and they transported us around like this. There was hard physical labor, very poor, meager food. It was like the cold of winter. And the only thing that could distract me from these everyday difficulties and... was to preserve myself as a Person, so that the system wouldn't trampled you. It was the only thing that gave me a break. ina Reading the Gospel was a distraction from all the darkness around me. It was precisely in these difficult circumstances, when I wasn't physically free. That was also part of it. My life's challenges include overcoming patience and humility, where it cannot be developed except in prison. There, you already depend on... No, there, your life does not depend on you. There, you are completely at the mercy of strangers who are negatively disposed towards you. There, there are no longer loving parents nearby. There are overseers, there are inmates, whose souls are warped in their own way, that is, distorted. And they are far from angels. And in these circumstances, when I opened the Gospel, I immersed myself in another world. I immersed myself in a world of love, harmony, and spiritual health. That is, I found in the words of the Gospel the grace that nourished my soul. And that is why this book became most precious to me. And even when I arrived in St. Petersburg after hard labor and my service to the soldiers, I still took this book with me; it was with me on all my travels and was even present at my physical death. There is even this Gospel in this book, because it has become my talisman, my spiritual channel connecting me with Jesus. That is the meaning of this book. Thank you very much. This is the cat organ , where you ended up, was this something you planned for yourself in the spiritual world in advance? Was it an inevitable element of your destiny? One of the possibilities. Could it have turned out differently? Yes, it could. It was one of the possibilities, because I... I mean, yes, fine. The question is, what is the spiritual reason, right? Yes. I met people who... First of all, turned upside down my head when I was still young. I had my first success in printing. Everyone praised me and said that with my work I was opening people to the truth, to the truth, supporting them. And this was in tune with my inner conviction that I was a healer of the soul. Gradually, these friends led me in the direction of condemning the state, the official church. They showed me such as banned literature, which was banned by the censors, in which they said things that seemed right to me then, that... Well, like socialist ideas, that we need to put the well-being of the people first, that we need to fight corruption, for example, and so on. That is, there were such calls that aroused in me, well, like anger, you could say anger at the existing state system. And at that time I was still young, and I did not take into account that everything exists voluntarily I God I And so I began to deviate from my purpose. To develop patience, humility, and hard work, and I began to develop something like authority, a leadership instinct. Because of this, circumstances arose around me: one of the members of this circle, like Anton, I hear Antonio, Anton, he went and reported us to the gendarmerie, the investigative department, the imperial, internal affairs agency. That's how the investigative agency was. reported , that we read the letter was like this Vissarion Belinsky. And they had a correspondence with Nikolai Gogol. I think, I don't know, it's been replaced. It's not entirely clear in the egregor whether this letter is famous now, but I sense from the energy that many, well, at least some of those present, have read it. And I think you read it too. If so, it's visible in your field, then you know what's written there. It was a letter. Very harsh. Condemning. Condemning the emperor, condemning the hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church and the entire system in general. And there were expressions there that bordered on insulting. For the oppression of serfs, for corruption, for the fact that priests hide behind religion and oppress the people. They have a lot of land, plots of land. And they introduce paid services and, like, are profiting on ordinary people. And when we read it, I was honest with you, I was amazed by such courage. Because you had to be really brave, you could say, in the mid-19th century, to make such a statement. You could pay for it with your head. With your life. And here is one of those who is with us. reported I love him too. aloud I read, that is, an excerpt. of this letter. Well, we were all detained, put in the Peter and Paul Fortress, kept in cells, interrogated, not even fed, not allowed to sleep, constantly interrogated. Not us? They told stories, some betrayed others, like a chain of command, who was there. And they accused us of wanting to overthrow the emperor, that we wanted some kind of assassination attempt on him, well, that is, they made such a case against us there, that we plotted against Nicholas I, that is, against this Emperor Nicholas I. And we were all sentenced to death. by way firing squad. That is, they show how they fire guns. Then they brought us to the square. It was already winter. And I remember that moment well, when I said goodbye to life. Because they had already read out the sentence to us. Those of us, including me, who were of the nobility, expelled from the nobility, were shown something like a sword or rapier being broken over our heads, while the corresponding decree was read out that these people were expelled from the nobility because they had disgraced this class by attacking state authority. They broke them over us. They decided on our privileges there. Everything. And we, as rootless people, belonging to no one, in some kind of clothes, like a robe and something like that, drop-down , they lined us up against the wall and already had their guns aimed. I realized I had no more than a minute left to live. But at that moment in time, I had just turned 28. You know, that last minute, it was so valuable For me, I wanted to live so much. I didn't want to leave. From this gray sky, which was like a light blizzard, I understood that every breath I took would be my last. And I hurried to memorize the impression of this square, of what surrounded it, in order to take it with me. I didn't have such a strong fear of death. I specifically wanted to stay because I hadn't accomplished what I wanted. I felt that my soul hadn't fulfilled its task. This feeling that this wasn't supposed to happen. That this was some kind of scenery, some kind of theater. And when the barrels of guns were already pointed at us, I expected from there at any moment... I expected death to fly out from there at any moment. An order was heard, well, to set things up, to lower the gun. And then someone shows up on a horse, rides in and reads a new decree. Cancel, pardon. I couldn't hear well. It was... I didn't understand what was happening, because I was already ready to appear before the Creator. And so I was focused on myself. And then suddenly sounds! Cancel, pardon! So what? What happened? I couldn't believe it! And they read out the emperor's new order to replace the death penalty with hard labor imprisonment. The nobility hadn't returned to us, yes, at that point in time, that is, they simply sent criminals. It took us a long time to get to Omsk, and they turned out to be some kind of train, a very long one, with wooden carriages, very cold. And when they took us away, I realized I was still alive, and I was so glad even for these conditions, because I understood that it could have all ended, and then I would not have fulfilled my destiny. And I knew for sure that it was no accident. That this order to replace the death penalty... and give us life. This order was given as we hear, that the emperor was only a conduit of divine will. And even as I was traveling to exile, I fully realized that my life was in God's hands. And then they presented it as the Gospel. As I already said, when I started reading there, I felt that it was my window to God, to the spiritual world. And all this led to me realizing that my fascination with the stylistic idea was utopian, a delusion, an illusion, because the oppression of the people was no accident. There was serfdom at that time, and that a person who is born a slave... has the same chance as his master to come to God. And that is the most important thing. Regardless of material conditions. Because without God, a person, even a king, even the ruler of all the slaves on earth, cannot be happy. At that time, I understood this completely. Thank you very much. There, at the Omsk penal servitude, on New Year's Eve of 1852, they allowed a theatrical performance to be staged, and you acted as director. The question is, what play did you stage, and was it a success with the audience? Well, it shows that it is... about the life of peasants and their love for each other. You wrote it yourself. play ? Well, yes, but I took its plot from all the books I've read. Did the audience like it? Yes, but not all of them. There were critics, but there were some I didn't like. Thank you very much. Well, we understand your attitude toward faith. And here's your attitude toward the church. As far as I can tell, you weren't a disciplined Christian. Well, you rarely went to church and neglected the sacraments. Well, there was a priest and some friends, like a spiritual father. And even a few changed throughout life. There are recollections from your wife, Anna Grigoryevna, that when she went to church, sometimes you scolded her for saying that instead of these outings, she should have been doing household chores. Well, he smiles, every family has its own kind of conversations. I respected that very much. The church, but I wouldn't say I was some kind of fanatic, but I still tried to go, go to the monastery, visit the monks, and even liked to live near the church, near the temple. The monastery, obviously, you have in Optina The desert where you went after the death of your son, Alyosha, together with Vladimir. I'd gone before. I'd gone before. It was like being half-obsessed. And to various monasteries and churches. And in general, even wherever I visited Europe, I still went there. I still loved to listen to the service, even to a Catholic church. I didn't go there every Sunday. I loved the ringing of the bells, there was singing, prayers. I was fine with that. It's just that because of my work, I didn't always have that opportunity. And as for my wife... But if I said something to her when I was irritated, that is to say, I... Sometimes my illness, specifically after an epileptic seizure, not so often, but once every few months, there would be seizures because of what I had already said. And because of that, I had something like a low mood. That is, they describe it as brain suppression, because of which everything irritated me. So I could say something to her in my heart, but it wasn't my direct conviction that it shouldn't be done. I understood. And that meeting with Elder Ambrosi... in Optina Hermitage, did it have any defining significance for you, or was it just one of many encounters with sacredness? He gave me hope, not even hope, but trust in God, because after the death of his last son, Alexei. My faith in... fair God. Because I had a strong paternal feeling for him, father. I felt sorry for him. Especially since he was dying before my eyes. Both first and second, it was he who was dying. He was struggling. And I knew it was my fault, because he was born from me, and I passed it on to him through my blood. That is, I constantly asked God, for what reason did you give birth to a child from me, who must suffer because of me, because of my illness. And for this reason, I traveled to churches, to monasteries, that is, to show how in St. Petersburg, in St. Petersburg, I visited a monastery, there I also talked with a priest, how I confessed. And they advised me to go to... To the ends of the earth, to Russia. Yes, that is, there... a monk, an elder, who answers questions as if from God. That is, he was like a guide, so to speak. When I asked him for what reason my son should suffer, that is, I asked my question. I received this answer: your son is like God's angel, meaning you lived in vain calling him... Honor to Saint Alexis, who is like an angel. And the fact that he passed away in this vuk, and Zrosim was three years old. A three-year-old son. was dying I had him in my arms, and I couldn't do anything. And I... I heard there, like, that it was God's will, because... When he passed away at a young age, he went straight to God. And for you... for you, well, for you and your wife Anna... He said you need this in order to completely trust God. After all, just as you took this child from His hands, so you gave him into His hands. He didn't really belong to you. Just believe that His Soul is well now. That is, He shows such things, like He sent consolation. And I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in His words. I began to thank God for revealing His love to me in this way, that is, through death. And His first daughter. My other child died. And this first daughter and my last son, Alexei, through the death of my children, I understood the experiences of the Mother of God, who also had her son Jesus Christ dying on the cross with her. She, despite seeing his suffering, did not stop loving the Heavenly Oat, the Creator of the Universe. And I realized that I have no right to complain to God, since the life of every person is in His hands and He knows best who to take to Himself when. In the memoirs of the elder's cell attendant in Russia there is a description of this visit of yours and after you left Optina empty, old man To "This penitent" said to the elein. He turned out to be an elder in Russia after meeting Leo Tolstoy, with whom he also communicated. Well, of course, you know what it's about; we already found out when we got to these archives. He said he was very proud. In this regard, a question about Tolstoy. In 1878, you and he, for the only time in your lives, in each of your lives, were in St. Petersburg together, in the same place, at a public lecture. Vladimir Solovyov, the philosopher. It was assumed that you would be introduced to each other there, but your mutual friend Nikolai Strakhov, who was supposed to do so, for some reason did not. We had already communicated with the spirit. L Lev Nikolaevich, and he revealed to us the secret that this meeting was planned in advance by you. And that you were supposed to meet and, moreover, you were supposed to become—according to the spirit of Lev Nikolaevich—his spiritual mentor. And this meeting was supposed to change not only his life, but the course of all Russian literature, and perhaps even Russian civilization. Well, I can't help but ask you, why didn't this meeting of yours take place, which, it seems, was... planned in advance. Yes, we really did have an agreement with this Spirit. That incarnation was that we would, well, not just get to know each other, but that we would be friends in some way, well, in a spiritual sense, I would become his mentor, although I was not a priest, well mentor I mean, like a friend, someone who gives advice not only on literature, but also on life. Including... on social life, that is, he was such a passionate person, because I know this spirit, and he, well, let's say, resisted the church. I needed to convey to him all the beauty, like the Gospel, and revealed precisely through the church. For what reason did we not meet, for what reason did we end up in the same room? And were not introduced to each other, for the reason that our mentors brought us there, that is, like our angels. directed us to think, so that we would come. Since our embodied parts, souls, were at that time occupied with their own thoughts, their friends. How we did not pay attention... They, as in bodies, when they were located, our parts, they did not pay attention to each other. They were not interested, although they were close to each other. But their attention was occupied with these momentary experiences, worries, conversations with acquaintances. And so there was some kind of fuss here. And so, just like that, our gaze slid over each other's faces. Our glances slid over each other's faces and didn't stick in our memory. That is, they show us as just a stranger. And for what reason weren't we introduced? For the reason that the one who knew us both, yes, he had such intentions, but he, too, was busy with the fuss, and he made the choice. Now it shows how he was distracted by conversation. And by the time he came to his senses, we had already parted. And we never met again, that is, physically. And that's why it didn't happen. I want to say that yes, we had a meeting, so to speak, recorded, planned before the incarnation, and a friendship was planned. That is, not just met And we talked, but what about friendship? But not all plans are fulfilled in embodiment, and for various reasons. Because the embodied part may begin to behave differently than the entire spirit expects before dividing into the Higher Self and the Soul. Suffocate! The soul's memory is blocked, even of its own agreements. And at the same time, its choice appears, but at the same time, its own choice remains. And therefore, it can behave in such a way that, figuratively speaking, so to speak, the higher self only sighs, sitting on a cloud in the spiritual world, so to speak. I understand. Thank you very much. Yes, this is the man who was supposed to introduce you, Nikolai Strakhov. What kind of figure is he in your life? I see him as a rather sinister character. But it's not just that because of his article, the fatal issue closed your journal with your brother. Well, on the one hand, you were friends with him, on the other hand, you left a rather unflattering characterization of him in your diaries. Well, he is a critic. It turns out he criticized everyone, and he had such a critical mind, he didn't trust people. And for this reason, even here suspended , that is X hunger en in relationships with friends. And often, well, how unflatteringly, he spoke about mutual acquaintances. And well, he was undoubtedly a talented writer, critic, and a very good wordsmith. And that word could offend. It wasn't just that he wrote that article, he could, for example, read one of my stories and even tell mutual friends that he wrote that—that is, portraying him as a critic, an idiot. He was also more inclined toward socialism, or something, portraying himself as a bit of a materialist, well, not like, for example, Vissarion Belinsky, who was already an extreme form of rejection. I already mentioned the letter. Yes. Nikolai didn't have that, but he was still more inclined in that direction. We had disagreements over matters of faith. He was more inclined toward that kind of rationality. socialist models, there he was fascinated by science, so he... read, for example, about the discoveries of scientists, mathematicians, or whatever. And he said that here they are discovering the world, and you go to church and pray. Well, yes, good. He says that he also loved reading scientific journals, I had a lot of books there. I subscribed to magazines and newspapers and read them and even made clippings. followed He followed the global political situation and scientific developments. He showed how versatile he was, with a very long, remarkable memory. And he read a great deal. That is, not only wrote, but also read various authors. Thank you. But I'll still say a little more about... The thing is, after your death, in a letter he sent to Tolstoy, he portrayed you as a man who, citing his close friendship with you, was supposedly drawn to dirty tricks, boasting about them. But most outrageously, citing Pavel Viskovatov and Turgenev, he claimed that you confessed to many that you once committed a disgusting act, namely, bribing a little girl's governess and gaining the opportunity to spend time with her, with the child, in a bathhouse—well, in Strakhov's words, to fornicate. Well, when this letter was made public after Tolstoy's death, your widow, Grigorina, published a response and asked friends to, well, refute these speculations. Basically, the gist of this response was that one shouldn't confuse a writer with his characters. And, well, of course, you were already dead by then, and we couldn't get your comment on this, essentially, accusation. Now I'd like you to comment on these insinuations of fear. Well, he could have thought so. I communicated quite openly with various people, including children. And indeed, I could, well, that is, show, as I already said, how various people came to me, with their children, you know, asking for help, and even just asking for advice. And there were women and girls, too, and this happened in his presence. And I communicated quite openly, I could hug people, a girl. Perhaps I behaved in a way that made him suspicious of my attraction to children. But I want to say that I never had that. I've always treated children in a paternal way. And why did he think that? I can only say it was because of my character, which is accustomed to seeing in others what was in himself. It shows that perhaps he experienced this himself and therefore subconsciously blamed others for it. He describes in some detail how you allegedly related these circumstances to Turgenev. And I got the feeling that in these stories, if they really existed, you somehow developed the inner arc of your characters. And it seems to me that this story of rape ultimately formed the basis of Stavrogin's confession in "Chapter Nine" in the second part of "Demons." It describes how he seduced Matryosha. Kotkov refused to publish this chapter in "Russky Vestnik" as too scandalous, despite the fact that you, as I understand it, made some attempts to revise the text and tone down its scandalousness. What am I getting at? My question. This chapter was ultimately removed. And in a separate edition of the novel in 1833, you theoretically had the opportunity to return this scandalous chapter with Stavrogin's confession about raping a girl. Obviously, it is important for understanding... the character's inner world. Why didn't you return this chapter? This chapter is most often published in an appendix, but there is an edition where this ninth chapter with Stavrogin's confession is included in the main text. What do you advise us to do: read it with this chapter included, or should we... study it further later? I think it's just censorship. It's like the book was censored at the publishing house. The publishers, as representatives of the publishing house, told me that this was a bit much, it wouldn't work. I said, well, whatever you want, it's your choice whether to include it or not. But I didn't see anything special in it; it was simply a reflection, like, yes, what you said, like a confession. It wasn't the girls who were extolling it. These were the thoughts of the character, the character I created, how I imbued them with these thoughts—well, you could say the form of the thoughts, in your opinion. I did it with a specific purpose, to show the character's moral state. I don't think there was anything indecent or obscene in it. It was just that there were some pretty harsh thoughts there, about raping a child. Indeed, we discussed this among friends. Perhaps, but I'm not sure, but perhaps Nikolai considered this to be some kind of confession on my part. Regarding Turgenev, although he could, he treated me unpleasantly because of our literary and ideological differences. And then I probably should have been accused of murder, because I described in great detail the killer's experiences, how he felt, how he decided to kill. For example, I'm talking about Raskolnikov, about Rodion Raskolnikov. A lot of the supporter occupies him with the idea that I wrote. That is, he shows how in the spiritual world he retained the memory not of specific words, but of the idea. The idea of how he wrote it. Here's how he sits and writes. Now he shows the image. And the idea was that Rodion To Raskolnikov This thought gradually came to him. At first, he rejected it, then he began to acknowledge it. And then right up to how he... hid the axe there, that murder weapon, yes, and went to her, to that old woman. And, by the way, he killed her, as if for money. For the money that, in her opinion, she owed him. Well, sort of underpaid. For the fact that he somehow gave her as collateral. Accordingly, when he came to her, everything is described in detail. What he felt, how he thought that now was the time to take out the axe, what he felt when he struck, when she fell, how his hands were shaking, how his mice were all mixed up, that is, it was all described in detail. But then Nikolai Strakhov and Turgenev had to... say that I was a murderer too, because I described in detail the state of a murderer. It was my job as an author, as a writer, to immerse myself in the roles of my characters, to step into their shoes and mentally imagine what I would feel there, holding that axe, for example, in that room, if I decided to kill. What I would feel. And I imagined it all, I described it, that is, it shows how he really, how his mental body, how it moved, as if into the astral plane, that is, it was like an astral journey. But it was there, that is, he felt what he was writing, as if in the body, but mentally he was in this plot. And I really felt these sensations and wrote them down. The same with Stavrogin, and with Marmeladov, and with many other characters, many dozens. I even remember when I was writing my works, I even thought about what to name these characters, what surnames to give them, there are some to give them... surnames so that they would be expressive. Why that particular surname? That is, they show that it was like this... And part of it was fantasy, yes, part of it was creativity, and part of it was like hints from the spiritual world, from Archangel Michael, part of it was from Jesus, part of it was from my guardian angel, so that these ideas would be expressed in a more understandable form. Well, I described exactly these details of the crimes that took place there, because I imagined myself there—both at the scene of the murderer and at the place of the child rapist, by the way, I also imagined myself there, because, well, how else can I describe what he felt, from what he thought. But these were only thoughts, thought forms for the sake of writing the text, that is, the work, but it didn't physically happen. Thank you. Just as there was no physical murder on my part. Yes, you really described in detail the murder of the old woman pawnbroker. And her as some kind of... Like a sister. Yes. That is, he killed two people. Yes. The peculiarity of the situation is that about three months after you began writing the first part of Crime and Punishment, and already... the manuscript describing this episode had already been sent to the publisher. A murder occurred in Moscow, exactly like the one you described. Student Danilov killed a money lender, a pawnbroker, and the main captain, Popov, and his maid. How can such a coincidence be explained? down to the smallest detail Details? This has happened before, even in St. Petersburg. Were you describing circumstances that occurred some time later? I told you I subscribed to newspapers, I watched crime reports, among other things. No, wait, but it's one thing to base your story on a newspaper article. We know that the impetus for the idea of crime and punishment was the case of the clerk Gerasim Chistov, who allegedly hacked two old women to death with an axe, though that case was never proven, but I'm talking about... events , which happen in real life, as if from scripts you'd previously written. He smiles and says that this script is so rare. Something was described there, something extraordinary. Well, actually, the details, it seems to me, aren't something that happens every day in Moscow. money lenders and the rest of the soldiers with an axe. Okay, since this killer is in Moscow, since this manuscript was just submitted, he couldn't yet, for obvious reasons, get acquainted with it and be inspired by this idea, then we can say that the idea of murder for money, this is a person who collects money. At that time, it was in the air. An axe is a common weapon. Murder was used in cases of attack. Now I'll say, for example, now someone will write a detective story about how they attacked a banker with a pistol and shot him. And then it actually happens. Someone will be surprised. This is the plot that, in fact, we expect in the case of murder. And now there are murders based on knives with various weapons. And as for why the old woman was injured in both cases, well, even purely psychologically, it is easier to attack an old woman than money lender . a man of large build. She's simply weaker. This means she's easier to deal with, also in the sense that there's less chance of resistance. So, she's like the ideal victim. I understand, thank you. They ask, why did you constantly draw Gothic cathedrals in the demons' manuscript? It's precisely in your hand that... drew Cathedrals? Yes, literally several pages have been published, where there are a lot of architectural elements of Gothic cathedrals. I was thinking about the questions, complex questions in this work, because there were questions of religion. It shows how these characters struggle, how revolutionary they were there, with the church, with faith. And I thought about this, and while thinking, I drew these, as these images show, to enter a state of inspiration on this topic. But in fact, I often accompanied, that is, it shows how something is depicted in the margins. Some images there. Yes, I understand. Thank you very much. Most of your manuscripts, your main novels from the last period of your work, were lost. That is, after 1917, your widow moved your entire archive to Sochi, where, for a long time Before that. And something like a dacha was bought. They remained there until 1926, and then they were sent by cart to Rostov-on-Don. And then they disappeared along the way, along with the policeman Vladimir Chudov who was accompanying the shipment. He vanished without a trace. In short, we are deprived of your manuscripts. Just in case, I can’t help but ask. Suddenly, you can tell us where they are kept now, we would go and find them. After the entertainment, I didn’t look into this matter. I knew it. Okay, thank you. Can I ask a few questions about women? Yes. Your friend Ivan Panayev told me about his memories of how in a high-society salon, well, he was still a young man then, you were 25 years old, you were introduced to a certain beauty, you were so struck by her beauty that you lost consciousness. There were. I was introduced to many people. And you lost consciousness? I didn’t lose consciousness because of her beauty, I could have felt unwell simply because of... Well, we, his state of health, so to speak. I understand. Because based on this memory, many are inclined to conclude that every time you see a beautiful girl, you immediately faint. It turns out... He smiles, says, that's how all people are. If they see that one thing happened after another, they immediately think that it was because of this. But this is not always the case. I understand. Around the same time, you became regular brothels. In a letter to your brother, to Mikhail, you wrote... minushkas, klarushkas, mariannas, etc. have become prettier, but they cost a fortune. The other day, Turgen Fabilinsky scolded me for my promiscuous life. The question is, why didn't you listen to your elders and lead a promiscuous sex life? Why didn't I listen to my elders and lead a promiscuous sex life? Because I had a very strong sexual temperament, which I directed, in the absence of, so to speak, a legal wife, at those objects that were available to me through... They became available to me through the money I earned from my first publications, from my books, my stories. I... for quite a long time, quite early in my adolescence, I experienced sexual pleasure with the help of self-satisfaction In this case, sexual passion burned me from the inside, and I decided to stop and focus my energy on real women. Was visiting a brothel at that time immoral or more or less normal? They were open. Open. Officially open. They even had, well, that is, supposedly doctors, doctors who examined women to make sure they didn't have any signs of contagious diseases. Something like a gynecologist. And there were also special grandmothers, like midwives, who, unfortunately, arranged for the conception of fetuses to be delivered with special herbs, so that these women wouldn't become mothers and their brothel owners wouldn't lose income. Incidentally, sometimes brothels were owned by famous counts, and there were, well, noblemen. They received income from this and paid, well, like, a tax to the state. And it was official. Of course, well, the Orthodox Church knew about it. But how did they feel about it? Well, they expected it to be fornication, that it was a sin. Why did I allow myself to do this? Because if I didn't free my body of the accumulated semen, I literally couldn't work, I devoured Prodigal passion. And what kind of women did you like? It seems to me there are two types. Either meek, spiritually rich girls, or, on the contrary... flamboyant, fatal beauties like Anastasia Fiction. I like those. Is it external? Well, at least external, but also internal character. In my youth, I was attracted to those who show how short they are, those A little plump ones, who were shorter than me, I was of average height, and who were so submissive, they show them as shy. And already, actually, after meeting... Maria. This is your first wife, right? Yes. He shows me such... She would have been a different type. That is, such, well, I see enough, at least I see her image, he shows me such, well... quite tall. Such a slender figure. And such, like her long hair. And in character, she was... Well, quite a leader in character. But we got along spiritually, because to me she was then... married to Alexander. And we met him at the house of one of our mutual friends. And there I became friends with Sasha, with her. And she always talked like this, shows how she talks. about the state, about religion. Like an intelligent woman like this. I liked her views, which were close to mine. And we had a lot to talk about. And then I found out from her that her husband was abusing her by raising his hand to her because he was a heavy drinker. And I felt sorry for her, I wanted to protect her. Then her husband died, leaving her as a daughter. And I proposed, or rather, I'm showing how I propose, a legal marriage. And after we were legally married, we started living together and, in fact, came back to St. Petersburg, then went to Europe. Well, that's how this life of mine that I've been telling you about began. It's like games. I really loved her very much, because she wasn't like those women from brothels, she was so pure and also showed signs of being a believer. She believed in God, in Christ, and she often talked about it, and we often talked about it. She was like a very patient . But a bit harsh so on the tongue. He told me a lot there A Regarding everyday life. I didn't always like it, but nevertheless, there weren't any major conflicts. Well, then she got sick. By the way, also with tuberculosis. And I tried to help her, there I hired doctors and sent her as sanatorium But it didn't help, she died in my presence. She opened She started coughing and bleeding. And her mouth started bleeding. And she died. That is, like she was on vacation, unable to breathe. I became very upset and depressed, and immediately didn't want to work. But I... saw her continuation in her son. I always kept him close, that is, he shows how... this boy, let's put it this way, how he loved him, like his own. Well, and then... My older brother also died. And I didn't even feel such a strong increase in my grief, because I simply had no time for it, I needed to deal with his debts for... for the publishing house, that is, he ran up debts for publishing magazines, and he didn't pay them off. And so his creditors came to me. When I was, so to speak, the heir, our parents were no longer there. And I, as the eldest in the family, the one left, took on these obligations for the funeral, for paying off his debts, and thought about how to make it all happen. I needed to write, I needed to write books as the only thing we had earned. And at the same time, I... I continued to play, to show it like a game. And so the publisher, yes, that's what they showed, now they're showing this story again, that he signed a contract, then met his future second wife. And how another life began, because there she was already different in character, she was more organized, that is, she was a little strict. But at the same time loving. There she is, like an angel, showing, like an angel surrounds herself with her concerns. And I had a different attitude towards her than towards Maria. There was also something like irritation with Maria, because, well, I didn't always like her character. She r no She had a sharp tongue. And Anna, she was such a blessing. It's not for nothing that her name conveys the feeling of grace. She was very soft, feminine, with a soft energy. Maternal, because it was with her that I was able to conceive children, because with Maria that didn't happen. And I was also irritated that Maria couldn't conceive children. I already wanted an heir. We had a large family. She gave birth to our first daughter, Sonya. And she died at a very early age. grow , up to a year. And after that, my Anya fell into despair, because I felt compassion, and desire, even greater love, and a desire to protect her, because she was really thinking about it, I was afraid she would commit suicide. Because she was much younger than me and had not yet experienced life's difficulties to such an extent. Therefore, she was not ready for these trials. And I was afraid that her soul would not cope. That is, I was afraid not for myself, but for her. And ... then ... she gave birth. A second daughter. Then a son, then another son, who died. Well, later. And, accordingly ... After my exit from the incarnation, she remained alive. I continued to protect her, that is, to show her, how I sent her, well, like my phantom, that is, he contacted her and the two remaining living children. Did you have an agreement with her before the incarnation that you would form a union on Earth? So, did you have an agreement with Anna before your incarnation to start a family? Well, the answer is yes, there was. That is, we knew each other in the Spiritual World. And after Anna's disincarnation, did you meet? Yes. And what level is she on? After... incarnations The number 18 came up. During your first family life, you had a mistress, Apollinaria Suslova. And how is this explained? You say you loved Scandal. There was a quarrel between me and Maria during this period. She got tired, so to speak. That's how it was there. Okay, I get it. Now I'm just trying to find the words. There was a quarrel. Between me and Maria on the same basis of my game. Money waste, that is, he told me there in a harsh manner and said, Well, how does he not love me anymore? And my attempts to reconcile with her led to nothing. That is, she was offended. And she even stopped, like, for a couple of months, fulfilling her marital duty. That is, T Akaya resentment That is, she handled purely mundane matters. She wasn't planning on getting a divorce. But she said she found it disgusting. That is, they present it as disgust. I find it disgusting to be united with you completely. And with you, with you. That is, how resentful I was. Because you put money above our love. I again felt that... I can't work because I'm bursting with desire. These were constantly coming thoughts. I'd even look out the window at a girl, and the thought immediately shows me what... Already in the spiritual world, I realized that my body was designed this way, with such a temperament, because this, too, with such a temperament, is a highly developed kundalini energy, because this, too, was part of my plan to develop patience, humility, even in sexual matters. But it's easier to conceive such a plan in the spiritual world than to carry it out in the body. I got myself into a difficult situation, I understand. And that's why I found someone like Polina, like Polya. Apollinaria. I hear Polina, a very beautiful, vibrant woman, like, dancing, dancing, and we became close. And she knew who I was, that is, as a famous writer, to her flattered my attention. And she agreed, so to speak, to help. Although she didn't ask or demand my divorce from my wife. But I want to say that this affair, so to speak, didn't remain a secret from my friends, who also told my wife. We had such a difficult, difficult conversation about this. I didn't deny it. I said, well, you chose yourself, not fulfilling your married debt, shows that she began to blame her. her own changes. For the reason, This is unfair cruelty towards me. Well, I support. Yes, an interesting scene. They had some scenes like that, and she... I told her everything and said that... I now understand how the Turkish shahs, when they quarrel, go from one wife to another in the arms of another. And it's a pity that I was not born there. And she, well, burst into tears, ran to her room. And then I did not calm her down, I gave her the opportunity to collect her thoughts and make an conscious choice. Does she want to continue living with me? And then a few days passed, but we did not talk about it. And then she herself started a conversation, that she takes responsibility for this. She forgives me for betrayal. and in the future... she will try... well, that's how... To humble herself, pride, resentment and still live with me as a husband. But the truth is, things didn't work out between us right away, because for a long time she kept saying that she felt uncomfortable being around me at the thought of me hugging another woman. That's how she expressed it, like she was jealous. And at the same time, I noticed that she herself, well, like... with other men, like she smiled at them. I thought that she wanted to, well, like, take revenge on me for this betrayal and began, well, like, to show it, because I felt hurt and uncomfortable at the thought of getting involved with her, that someone else would get in touch with her. And when I already... I started expressing it to her. That is, I myself began to feel jealous. And when I was already out ate from incarnations I analyzed all of these feelings. But I want to say that at that point in time, my spiritual level was somewhere around 11-12, that is, that's how much it dropped. And the level I've reached now, I reached in the last year of my life, when I was more engaged in spiritual prayer. The same as walking in a mirror, prayer. And yet, these struggles of the flesh no longer tempted me so much. Because in reality, all these sensations, dreams and... pleasures can lead a person quite far. They will lead him into self-deception, into the illusion of his own rightness, when he uses with his right as a husband. And in his marital intimacy, he begins to show his cruelty, selfishness, and humiliates the woman. Through this, falling into sin myself, into a lowering of the spiritual level, I have experienced it. That is, I know how to tempt us, I know how the flesh can tempt a person. It can really drive him fall Into the abyss. Not because it's bad or sinful, but because it's a very powerful tool with very powerful energies, which, if used not in the light of divine, and therefore unconditional, love, but simply carnal love, then carnal love is kindled, and divine love fades into the background. And if it fades into the background, it diminishes. And if it diminishes, then it grows... Servitude to passion, selfishness. And, accordingly, the inattention of one's other half to one's wife. And an unwillingness to take responsibility for her feelings. Well, that is, for... not even for her feelings, but for one's behavior that caused certain feelings. That is, it's kind of irresponsible in the sense that you're offended by me, and instead of making peace with you, I'll go and do something to spite you, to show that I'm the boss. I'm in such a state. Thank you very much for your answer. If I'm not mistaken, it was you who defined the Russian people as a God-bearing people. Do you know that today this formulation It's almost always used in a, I don't know how to put it, derogatory, ironic way, as if there's not a single baseness that this very God-bearing people wouldn't be willing to commit in the name of the false ideas of that very chosenness. Question: Do you still see the special civilizational role of the Russian people, which you spoke and wrote about in life? Every nation has its own role. As for the Russian people, I still see their role in the Egregor of the Russian people and communicate with the rulers of the Gregor. That is, we are in contact, in touch. For example, with the Mother of God, the main patron. Of the Russian egregor. Yes, the Russian egregor, as a Russian state, as a gathering of people with a Russian identity, so to speak. The task and uniqueness of the Russian people and their task on earth is precisely to become a bulwark of peace through an example of love for each other and other nations, so that it becomes an example for the entire earth. This is precisely the task of this people on earth. But the fact is that on earth there are different circumstances, political, economic, in which... with the help of which these qualities of the Russian people are tested for... as a temptation, a test of their strength, of the desire of the Russian people to follow these tasks Unfortunately, the current energetic, political, and economic situation on Earth places the Russian state in a situation where, unfortunately, it is necessary to defend its objectives with weapons in hand. Yes, I understand. He shows how to fight. Those who are against peace. This is also part of the task of the Russian people. But... This is, in fact, not the only way to fulfill one's task, but simply the one that most closely corresponds to... vibrations, that is, the energetic spiritual vibrations of the majority. Unfortunately, there are such circumstances that are already created by other egregors on Earth, because it is not only the Russian people who live. When... Responsible people in government make decisions, very difficult decisions related to restoring peace when other players resist this peace. And here, a little bit, is the task of the Russian egregor changes. The fact is that, despite such rather difficult and harsh circumstances in which others placed her egregors , the state, will still continue to be a beacon of love, peace, and tranquility, that is, an example for other nations. But, naturally, just like an individual, a community of people, which is an egregor, can, at various periods in its history, either fulfill or fail to fulfill its tasks. In this case, I call on the representatives of the Egregor of the Russian Federation to become an example of peace in all things. Peace, love, and prosperity for the rest of humanity. That is, it now shows that Russia is on the path to fulfilling this goal. But it doesn't always work out. Thank you very much, you've inspired us. Final questions. Please tell us, from the vantage point of your posthumous analysis of your earthly life, could you name the three most significant events in your life? Well, the first is, as I already said, the death sentence. It kind of revolutionized my understanding of life, because it brought me to the brink of death. The second... Well, I wouldn't say it was a separate event. Well, there was my period when I was going through difficult circumstances in hard labor and at the same time reading the Gospel and understanding how to communicate with God. That is, my inner prayers and communication with God, despite the pain and suffering of the physical body. This is not really a separate event, but just a period. And the third is... the moment of the death of my youngest son Alyosha, when I saw it and when I knelt before his dying body. That is, at that moment, I myself was being spiritually reborn and understood that he... that we had achieved, everything that I had achieved in this material life, including my literary fame. could crumble as easily as this childhood. And therefore I have nothing to be proud of. No... There is no need... to take the praise of critics or those who read me to heart. I must always remain humble and remember that I am in God's hands. That is, too, an important moment. Thank you. Well, and the three most important people in your life. Please name what you mean by "important"? who significantly influenced you, your worldview, influenced my worldview, I can name Christ, okay, one point is Christ, well, if we're talking about who influenced me. But every person... and my loved ones, those whose names I don't even remember, I just remember their names, well, like a face. I've always had a better memory for images than for names. I even often forgot the names of acquaintances. For which, by the way, they were offended at me. But, nevertheless, each of them equally left a mark on my soul. But I will highlight here... my two wives and my father. I understand. Thank you very much. I would like you to tell us a little about how you disembodied, this moment of death, how it happened. It was in an apartment. I was writing, that is, showing it as a manuscript. Here, as another one, like a story. And, by the way, it was about the spiritual. like... I have already met Solovyov. And we've been talking with him lately, well, maybe the last year or so before that, about spiritual phenomena. Incidentally, including séances with mediums. Practically the same as what's happening now. But they were in a different form back then. The thing is... At the time when I was incarnate, these people who communicated with the dead often filled halls and spoke to the public. They even came from other countries. And a good friend of mine. You might know him, his name is Dmitry, and his last name is Mendeleev. Yes, he was a scientist and, so to speak, he had a critical attitude, that is, he approached these phenomena from a scientific standpoint. Firstly, he... wow I was initially overcome with emotion when I learned about mediums and decided to investigate them. And when he began investigating them, he discovered that they often used various techniques to create the appearance of miracles for the public, so to speak. In various ropes, with which they tied people to their feet and tugged , so that the table would move. Because of this, he became terribly disappointed and began to denounce and expose them in print. And at this stage, he met several people who supported this movement and began inviting me to such séances. We went, and just on the last day of my disembodiment, I decided to write a story about it, that is, about the illumination of, well, how to call it, such a fortune teller who, on behalf of the spirit, through the womb of prophecy, that is, letting the spirit into herself, predicted the future. There were a lot of such in St. Petersburg. By the way, they were not limited in any way; there was no law there restricting their work. And we visited. Her name was so now he somehow called me a name like that, I don’t even know some kind of Gulkerya, like some kind of, like, not and not Russian nationality, she was from some Tatars or something, she lived in St. Petersburg, we came with friends. Somewhere maybe a couple of months before my time incarnations And she entered a state where she couldn't see anything. It was like hypnosis. You wave your hands in front of her face like this, and she couldn't see you. And she had this hoarse voice. And the spirit began to speak through her. And we started asking our questions, definitely about our future. She looked at me, and because of her, there was this rough, hoarse voice, like you were standing on death's door. I chuckled to myself and thought, well... mine It's noticeable because I was already sick. Well, it's not hard to predict the fate of a sick person. I mean, I thought to myself, you're standing on the threshold of death. And then I chuckled to myself, well, yeah, on the threshold isn't exactly when. You can say tomorrow, you can say in a year, and it will still come true. Well, I think, some kind of craftsmen, that is, at the same time she predicted and at the same time she didn't. That is, in any case, she will be right. Because on the threshold, this concept is very extensible Well, I mean, I kind of laughed to myself and thought, I'll write a story about visiting this fortune teller, but in this artistic form. And I'll call it... like... he's telling me a title now, like, "Miracle of Miracles" or something like that... or the expectation of a miracle, something connected to a miracle. And when I sat down to write the manuscript, I didn't finish it, that is, I showed how... I thought through the plot; I had such a serious approach even to short stories. I didn't do all this in one day. I mean, I was thinking about the plot, what everyone was wearing, what room we were in. I started making a plan. This piece, it has main characters, what are their names, and so on. And when I started writing the draft that day... I felt a sharp deterioration in my health. I started feeling incredibly weak and had a headache the whole day. Well, that happened to me often, I didn't really pay attention. Then Vera came to visit. She's my sister. And she started telling me something about the inheritance, that we needed to divide up our parents' inheritance somehow, that she was offering to give her my share, that she needed it. Well, she started saying something about material matters. And I replied, well, we'll talk later, something's not right now. Anya says her husband is feeling unwell, come later. She said, "I'll come here every time." She lived somewhere else. Let's resolve this issue now. And I said, I don't feel well there, and left. Then the children came to me. That is, they show a boy and a girl. I sat down at the table and showed that he felt bad, he started choking and started coughing. I had already had porridge before that. spruce With blood. But then it stopped. That is, two or three days before that. And then it started again. And when I felt that I could no longer stop this coughing, I had blood showing like this. And I realized that the thought came to me that this was already the last day. And I called my wife and said that we need to call a priest for confession, communion. And I said that I would soon go to God. I felt it. Then the priest came, I don’t remember well, but it shows how foggy all his words were. But I remember that I told Anya and the children that I love them. I wasn’t afraid, I felt that my time had come. True, after disembodiment, it turned out that I had set myself a deadline of 65 years. I didn’t live to see it, by a little more than 5 years. But I still fulfilled my destiny, and so at that moment, my spirit and my angelic guides decided to bring me out at that particular moment, since I... wouldn't have accomplished anything significant in my incarnation, but because of my illness, I was at risk of losing the level I had reached at that point in time. That is, despite the fact that I didn't live to see my end, I believe I fulfilled my destiny, especially since my plan was precisely level 23. And after I came to terms with my death, I practically no longer felt the pain that had been constantly drilling into my chest for many years. I had chronic pain when breathing. Like a sore throat and chest pain. It's like when you have bronchitis. And I felt like I was simply losing contact with my body. I no longer felt the bed I was lying on. And when I opened my eyes, I no longer saw objects around me, but I felt the presence of my wife and children. And they all dissolved into a kind of white fog. Like a light. But I realized that I had lost my sight. Well, and also my hearing. And I felt like sobbing Such. But I couldn't move my tongue anymore, because I couldn't feel it. But I had absolutely no fear, I mentally said, Jesus Christ, protect my children, my wife, I trust you with them. And I will feel myself dissolving. That is, in this kind of light. And that kind of expansion, like this, I no longer felt my body, I felt like it was some kind of scarf. And at that moment, it was like a meeting, two figures appeared in front of me, glowing. But I also had light, that is, our light mixed. And they told me... Well, that is, I caught their conversation, but it wasn't words, but understanding, meanings. They said that we welcome you. Our brother there, an angel. That is, I understood that I had reached the angelic level, well, there, 23. That is, they didn't call him 23rd, they called me, well, like Arhat. That is, that I am, as it were, even higher, they. I'm walking, they just came to help me, to support me during the period of separation from my body. You and one of them said that the thread of life is broken, and I felt my freedom, that is, it shows how a helicopter flies. And after that, I... thought, I need to support my family, I wanted to be home again, but I was already seeing them simply as images. And afterward, it's very difficult to judge time, since there are no clocks, so to speak, there is the sun, the moon. You just orient yourself approximately that several days have passed. But it's like a state without time. And then I felt a movement upward and saw how something was opening before me, like a gate to the Kingdom of Heaven, there are these portals, like this arch, I see. And from there, an even brighter light than mine. And this light penetrates me, and I connect... with God, but it was a connection with the Spirit. That is, it was a connection with the Higher Self, according to your technology, according to Irina's terminology, it's a connection with the Spirit, and after that I... Well, yes, I understood, memories began to emerge of who I was before past incarnations, because before that I had no understanding of my past life. And then I began to analyze my incarnation, Archangel Michael descended to me, Jesus Christ descended to me. And we began to analyze my incarnation, what levels I was at, that is, I descended quite low there. Incarnations, some there were such periods of despondency, when it generally corresponded to the fifth level. Well, in the end, by the way, for a long time I corresponded to the sixteenth level, but literally in the last year and a half I rose to 2.3. So, dear friends, now I want to address you. In my last incarnation, I was very different, I was at different spiritual levels. That's why I know that my works have been read, are published, and are still being read. So after reading something, I wrote it as a diary, with my own reflections, meaning I wasn't describing certain characters, but rather my own personal experiences and thoughts. That's how I conducted it, as I already said, Esler I lived in a woman's body, and this habit, although subconscious, influenced me. And I simply made it public for everyone. It was an absolutely frank diary. And you can read my various thoughts and feelings there, including some that were far from the brightest. But I emphasize that in my life I have been at different spiritual levels. And each time I wrote, I was in a state of one or another vibration. My final result, my incarnation, is level 23, but I reached it shortly before the death of my body. Dear Fyodor Mikhailovich, thank you very much for coming. We are sending you the light of our love. Yes. Let us thank Irina for this. phenomenal session

Cassiopeia project - unofficial blog

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четверг, 18 сентября 2025 г.

Project Cassiopeia - Channeling Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall, Moscow - 13/08/2025

Project “Cassiopeia” - Mediumship session with the spirit of Fyodor Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall - Moscow - 08/13/2025 - Presenter Igor Lebedev

1. Spiritual Status

2. Mission of His Earthly Life

3. Past Incarnations

4. Family, Health, and Epilepsy

5. Views on Suicide

6. Gambling Addiction

7. Hardships with Money

8. Faith and the Bible

9. Political Involvement and Exile

10. Relations with Tolstoy

11. Accusations and Scandals

12. Creative Process

13. Personal Life and Women

14. Main Themes

25 Rules of Life — Fyodor Dostoevsky (spirit)

Архив блога

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четверг, 18 сентября 2025 г.

Project Cassiopeia - Channeling Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall, Moscow - 13/08/2025

Project “Cassiopeia” - Mediumship session with the spirit of Fyodor Dostoevsky - Bryusov Hall - Moscow - 08/13/2025 - Presenter Igor Lebedev

1. Spiritual Status

2. Mission of His Earthly Life

3. Past Incarnations

4. Family, Health, and Epilepsy

5. Views on Suicide

6. Gambling Addiction

7. Hardships with Money

8. Faith and the Bible

9. Political Involvement and Exile

10. Relations with Tolstoy

11. Accusations and Scandals

12. Creative Process

13. Personal Life and Women

14. Main Themes

25 Rules of Life — Fyodor Dostoevsky (spirit)

Архив блога

четверг, 18 сентября 2025 г.